Final Fanatic
by Imperfection07
Summary: CoAuthored with QSF. Two Avid Fangirls get sucked into a Video Game during a convention. Random Game Crossovers. PLZ R&R!
1. Pokemon Battle

Chapter 1: Pokemon Battle

It had been at least a few hours since the Video Game convention started. Already challengers bringing along their memory cards, Gameboys, etc to win at becoming a beta tester for an upcoming game titled: "Ultimate Gamers" where they get to command their favorite game character ranging from Super Mario Brothers to Final Fantasy.

Not surprisingly the challengers had been leveled down to four players: Kristen, Mona, Astrid, and Annabelle.

Mona mainly focused her challenges on the Pokemon games. She was also a fan of Sonic the Hedgehog (she always wears a T-Shirt featuring Sonic for this reason), Super Smash Brothers, Amazing Island, and other games having to do with that category. Her strongest Pokemon Team had to be in Pokemon Silver for the amount of time she raised Fraligator and caught different types due to her spending time with them even during school nights. The second strongest was Sapphire since she caught Kyogre and raised it to level 51 along with her other Pokemon, and the third had to be Gold due to her Typhlosion and Ampharos. She barely started on Ruby though and she only had Mudkip and a Wurmple there (Imperfection: lost interest in catching them all over again).

Astrid at first glance looked like an honest gamer, but beneath her mask she was a cheater and a half. She hardly played by the rules and used all sorts of codes to get high level weapons and accessories for her characters before they were even at their required level. In her best game, Final Fantasy VII, she ignored most of the other characters in her group in order to build up Cloud. Astrid equipped Cloud with the Ragnarok sword with a Cheat Code at level 8 when he wasn't supposed to have it until level 48! This threw her team off balance, but she didn't care. All Astrid cared about was winning and moving on.

Kris was an avid fan of RPG games, especially Final Fantasy VII. Her other favorites were Legend of Dragoon, Eternal Eyes, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone Game, Yu-Gi-Oh: Forbidden Memories, and The Granstream Saga. She was also an Anime fan, so she liked Bishies from Final Fantasy VII like Sephiroth, Cloud, Rufus, and Vincent (QTSF: yummy! ). But Kris' all time favorite character in the whole series of Final Fantasy games is still and always will be Sephiroth (QTSF: my Bishie!)

Annabelle had to be the biggest brat Mona had laid her eyes on. She mainly traded her Pokemon to build the strongest team. She even traded her starter for Groudon even though she didn't have the right badges. To be precise, Mona had all eight. Annabelle had only around three causing the Pokemon she had to ignore her but win the battles anyway. She won most of the battles in this tournament by tricking the competitors and paying them to lose. Her Pokemon were treated badly as well.

Mona and Kris exchanged grins.

"This is going to be a piece of cake…" Mona smirked. "Ice-Berg (Kyogre) and Sprouter (her Sceptile) must've grown at least several levels by now…"

"And Sephiroth is going to wipe out any opponent that comes our way…" Kristen responded.

Both girls were determined to win. You could see it in their eyes that nothing was going to stop them, not even their rivals.

At that moment, a shrill and annoying laugh caused Mona and Kristen to spot Annabelle.

"Oh…I'm sorry. Did you mention that you're going to win?" Annabelle smirked.

Mona felt her temperature rising faster than her own Typhlosion in the game.

"Yeah! You got a (BEEEP) problem with that?!" Mona snarled, not giving a Chocobo's egg if she cursed.

Kristen immediately glared at Astrid through her glasses as her rival stood next to Annabelle. You could see the light flash off it as her eyes narrowed. Just like Sephiroth and Cloud in Final Fantasy Seven, Kris and Astrid were born rivals; both wanting to surpass the other.

The girls glared at their rivals before Mona stopped and smirked.

"You know…let's see how strong you really are Cowgirl!" Mona said, commenting on how her rival's name matched that of a certain calf in a Christmas movie. It was her biggest insult towards Annabelle…and it almost always worked.

"The first battle will be a Two on Two Pokemon Match between Mona and Annabelle as they use all the Pokemon in their teams!" The announcer shouted as he desperately tried to ignore the tension between the two brunettes.

Before anyone could react, both girls whipped out both their Gameboy Advance SP. Mona's ebony game system containing Sapphire, and Annabelle's violet game system with her Ruby version. Both grabbed different ends of a game link cable before attaching it to the Gameboy Advances.

Mona didn't take her furious chocolate brown eyes off Annabelle. Even though Pokemon was only a video game, Mona saw it more like the Pokemon she caught were her allies and sometimes friends. But seeing one being traded off without warning by heartless power-hungry losers constantly cheesed her off, especially if she was the one who raised it first hand.

A huge screen showed up a bit next to them showing a screen on what was happening on both POV of the combatants.

Mona looked at it before looking towards Annabelle. The girl was still giving off that demonic smirk as their Gameboys switched on. Soon both their characters were on screen. Mona's team of her most skilled Pokemon was in her party. Annabelle had her strongest Pokemon.

Both got into the Pokemon center and Mona healed hers before going in.

"What's taking so long?" Annabelle grumbled.

"Easy there speedy…" Mona grinned before logging on. Soon both their game chars faced and got ready before the large screen flashed signifying their battle had started.

Mona had already got her selected two up front: Minus (Minun), and Tropi (Tropius). Annabelle tossed out Golem and Shelgon. Fortunately, Minus had a fast stat ability so it used Helping Hand to power up Tropi before the plant dinosaur used Magical Leaf which brought down Golem in one hit. This was because Mona trained her Pokemon to increase Power and Speed Status.

Shelgon immediately used Ember on Tropi. It damaged the Pokemon a bit, but fortunately the Pokemon didn't faint and wasn't burned.

In Golem's place, Annabelle released a Xatu. Mona's brow furrowed since she knew her Minun had a type advantage.

Minun was ordered to use Thunder on Xatu. The Pokemon was electrocuted and paralyzed. Mona immediately noticed Minus was paralyzed as well.

"Oh crap! I forgot Xatu has the synchronize ability!" Mona yelped before seeing Minus bowing down a bit and sparkling. She issued a sigh of relief remembering she made it hold a Lava Cookie. "Thank god…"

Sprouter took off flying so it could start off a FLY attack while Shelgon used Protect too soon. Xatu remained fixed in place from paralysis. Suddenly, Tropi did a head-on strike on Shelgon due to Protect only working on the turn it would be attacked draining its HP to the mid-section and Minun used Spark to bring down Xatu. Shelgon had its HP refilled causing Annabelle to lose her turn.

"You're lucky I didn't summon Groudon just yet!" Annabelle shouted.

"You're lucky I didn't release Sprouter!" Mona shouted back as Annabelle unleashed her Exploud. Mona's eyes narrowed. "I…loathe…that…thing…" (Imperfection: I used to dislike Exploud until I figured it could learn Hyper Beam upon evolution so…yeah)

In a swift turn, Mona concentrated on knocking them both out in one move. This worked and Annabelle was down to two Pokemon: Groudon and one other Pokemon.

That other Pokemon turned out to be Annabelle's starter which she traded off: Blaziken.

"HUH?!" Mona's eyes widened before regaining composure. Whoever raised Blaziken must've been very rough since it was at level 70 already. Groudon was still at level 47.

"Give up while you're ahead!" Annabelle smirked.

"Not happening Looney Cow!" Mona retorted.

Minus used Helping Hand on Tropi again before the grass/flying Pokemon took down Groudon with another Magical Leaf. However, that left Blaziken behind. The fire-bird swiftly used Sky Uppercut on Tropi. Even though it was a fighting move, it still worked and KO-ed Mona's favorite Grass Pokemon

"TROPI!" Mona gasped before her eyes narrowed and she glared at Annabelle. Knocking out her favorite…BIG MISTAKE! Angrily, Mona summoned her starter: Sprouter. Sprouter had survived many fire attacks during a battle with Flannery and it was the strongest Mona had worked on.

Immediately, Minus used Helping Hand before Sprouter used STRENGTH and knocking down a lot of HP.

Blaziken returned the Favor by using Blaze Kick which knocked out Minun, stopping the electric power generator. Mona then saw her chance.

"ICE-BERG!!!" Mona shouted before Kyogre showed up on screen.

"It's a water type and you call it ICE-BERG?!" Annabelle asked bitterly before realizing Kyogre's drizzle was dampening the field, dwindling down the fire power on her Pokemon. "Oh…crap…"

Ice-berg suddenly used Hydro Pump and Sprouter finished Blaziken off with Leaf Blade, which was its signature move whenever Mona was in a two on two Pokemon battle with it. Mona grinned.

"YAHOO!!" She cheered before the screen showed the statistics. It turned out the rest of the Pokemon were her Gardevoir (nicknamed Enchant), & Swellow (nicknamed Hawk). They weren't meant for the battle but it would've been a lot closer if she used them.

"Awesome job Mona!" Kristen said as Mona returned from the stage with her Sapphire game and GBA in hand.

"Thanks…now it's your turn to battle." She responded. Kristen nodded and saw that Astrid was already on stage. "Show her what you're made of!"

"Don't worry…I will." Kristen smirked.

To be continued…


	2. Sephiroth versus Cloud

Chapter 2: Sephiroth versus Cloud

Kristen reached into her pocket and pulled out her metallic blue Madcat brand PSOne memory card. She plugged it into the PlayStation, not once taking her hazel eyes off her opponent. Astrid, Kristen's opponent, glared at Kristen. Kristen smirked, for this kid didn't know what she had coming to her.

Normally, you can't play Sephiroth in Final Fantasy VII. But that didn't stop Kristen from finding a way of doing it. After many months of searching, she found the one code that made it possible for her to play Sephiroth in her favorite RPG game, Final Fantasy VII. Now, after much training, Kristen was going to show the world the true power of her favorite Bishie.

The screen flickered on and the battle began. They were fighting on a grassland setting. The two fighters appeared on the screen; Kristen's Sephiroth and on the opposite end was Astrid's Cloud. This was the perfect combo since the two characters were already rivals in the actual game.

Kristen started the battle off by Summoning _Hades_ to poison Cloud. Astrid gasped and quickly healed herself with _Heal_ magic. Unfortunately for Astrid, this cost her a turn and Kristen took advantage of it. She then had Sephiroth Summon _Leviathan_. The giant blue snake thrashed Cloud with a wall of water. This time Andy used _Cure_ magic to gain back what major HP points she lost from the two summon attacks.

'_This is so easy._' thought Kristen as she had her silver-haired bishie attack Cloud with his Masamune sword.

Astrid was tired of trying to keep her HP up and decided to attack. She had Cloud Summon _Knights of Round_. This was Cloud's special attack, causing major damage to Sephiroth.

'_Uh-oh, better think of something fast_' thought Kristen as she watched Sephiroth's HP pass the halfway point. Then she noticed his Limit Break bar flashing. She had a chance! "Time for a Super Nova!"

"Say what?!" Astrid shouted as she watched Kristen chose Limit and then clicked on Super Nova, which was Sephiroth's ultimate attack!

The movie clip came up of a meteor in space colliding into each of the planets in the solar system, shooting towards Earth, then landing on top of Cloud; blasting him away in a fiery inferno.

"NO!!!" Astrid cried as Cloud's HP went down to zero.

"I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON!" Kristen yelled excitedly, jumping up and down like a hedgehog on a sugar high.

On the sidelines, Mona did the same thing.

"Kristen, Kristen, she's our…eh…" Mona paused at what she was going to say before continuing. "…man! If she can do it! NOBODY CAN! WOOHOO!"

"That's your cheer?" Annabelle smirked. "I would've hired a field of Football Players that had no real experience."

"Oh shut up…" Mona remarked before kicking the girl into a dumpster and continuing her cheering. "KRISTEN! KRISTEN! YEAH!!"

"The two finalists are Kristen and Mona!" The announcer said as Mona and Kristen walked to the center of the stage and gave each other high fives.

"We rock!" Mona grinned.

"You said it!" Kristen nodded.

"Now these two will face off, showing their skills in a two player BATTLE MODE!"

Mona and Kristen suddenly stood in place and went whiter as a sheet faster than Sonic winning a race in less than one second.

"We have to battle each other?" Mona's jaw dropped.

"This wasn't what we planned…" Kristen said.

Well, sure they had fire inside them and wouldn't allow their rivals to get past them…but they didn't seem too sure about fighting each other. Both girls immediately swallowed.

"Oh…"

"…crap…"

They did hear Annabelle laughing evilly from inside the dumpster before a bag of rotten Chinese noodles spilled on her.

"AAAAAUUCK!!"

To be continued…


	3. Mona versus Kristen

Chapter 3: Mona versus Kristen

Both girls stood at the platforms where they faced a game system that seemed to be a cross between the Gamecube and an Xbox. Both continued staring at each other as the announcer droned on about the _new features of the game_ and how it was worked.

"Are you ready!" The announcer shouted.

"But-I don't want to fight Kris!" Mona stuttered.

"I don't want to beat Mona!" Kris wailed.

"Well...if you two don't play against each other, then you won't recieve the full editions of the game and the first runners up will get to play it before it comes out in stores..." The announcer replied.

"And...How long will it take for the game to be in stores?" Kris asked. Mona blinked and felt sweat run down the back of her head.

"Six weeks..."

"SIX WEEKS!" Both girls yelled causing the whole auditorium to fly up and land with a crash. Fortunately, nobody was actually hurt from the landing...

"MY LEG!"

...well...someone had to be used as a pillow for some fat lady in the audience...

Mona and Kris looked at each other and back at Annabelle and Astrid. A pause ensued before both girls got at the controls.

"Alright girls! Now choose your characters!" The announcer shouted as the crowd cheered. The huge monitor on Kristen's side showed Sephiroth ...however... Mona was still looking at a whole bunch she was having a hard time to choose from.

"Now let's see...no...uh...maybe...nah..." Mona paused before moving her pointer finger over the screen. "Eenie...meenie...miney...moe...catch…a...tiger...by...it's...toe...if...it...hollers...let...it...go...eenie...meenie...miney...MO!" She paused and looked up to see the whole audience was staring at her in a confused manner. Mona paused before pressing the (A) button on the controls and...

Nobody said a word as Kristen had fallen over in anime style out of trying to conceal her laughter of mass hysterics. Mona stood there with a stunned look.

"What?" She asked as the monitor showed a certain water monster from the Sonic Adventure 2 Battle mode of the game. "I like Chaos! He's cool! Well…I think he is…"

"And...It looks like the two contestants are ready to duke it out with these two tough customers! GAME ON!" The announcer yelled as the screen had a picture of Chaos-0 and Sephiroth facing each other with a "VS" sign in the middle of the two.

No sooner had the match started, Kristen had Sephiroth summon Leviathan. Mona countered by having Chaos use his Chaos Bind attack which cancelled out Sephiroth's attack before having it give a hard punch to Sephiroth, sending the silver haired bishounen crashing onto the ground. This drained a lot of HP from Sephiroth.

"Yaay! Go Chaos Zero! Go Chaos Zero! Go Chaos Zer-" Mona stopped cheering once she saw Sephiroth had broken free from the Chaos Bind and had sent Chaos-0 flying into a wall with a swift strike from his Masamune sword. "Ooh crap..." Mona cringed when she noticed Chaos Zero was lingering a lot of damage from that sneak attack.

She had Chaos recover and dash towards Sephiroth. Kristen got Sephiroth to summon Hades and Mona desperately tried to have Chaos avoid getting poisoned despite its slow status.

As the two had their chosen characters battle, they didn't know that Annabelle had other ideas. She had snuck under the stage and got to the plugs.

"Those two aren't good enough to get the video game before me..." She hissed before grabbing a whole bunch and giving it a fierce tug. All the plugs were pulled out of their sockets but that caused a really strange power surge to fly in.

Mona and Kristen were both sweating in front of the consoles as Chaos-0 had started aiming a strong Chaos Strike and Sephiroth was about to use Supernova when the power suddenly shut off.

"Huh!" Kristen and Mona's eyes widened as the screen fizzled out before flashing a bright white. Both girls yelled as a strong wind suddenly pulled them inside the game system before diminishing. The power suddenly turned back on and everyone stared at where the two girls were standing.

"What the heck just happened!" One of the judges shouted.

"We don't know...but we just found the cause..." One security guard announced as he held up Annabelle whose hair was standing on end as she had a goofy grin plastered on her face.

"Did I win?" She asked.

* * *

At the back door of the game convention, the door suddenly opened and Annabelle was flung out before falling into a dumpster.

"And don't come back!" The security guard shouted as the door swung shut. Annabelle looked to see a tabby cat looking at her.

"What do you want?" She asked bitterly before the cat slurped up some of the cooked rotten Chinese food that had fallen on her head earlier.

* * *

Meanwhile...Kristen and Mona both had landed on a grass terrain. They got up, ignoring their aching joints, and looked around in confusion.

"Mona...where are we?" Kristen asked with a slight nervousness in her voice.

"Well..." Mona paused and spotted a herd of Chocobo walking past them in a carefree manner before continuing. "...we're definitely not inside a video game convention at this moment..."

TBC...

A/N: I kind of made a typo on this chapter when I first put it up. Don't worry! I fixed it!


	4. A whole lot of Running and Screaming

Chapter 4: A whole lot of running and screaming…

Mona and Kris had continued standing on the grass terrain before the brunette's stomach growled.

"AAAUGH! I'M HUNGRY!" Mona yowled and clutched herself before falling over. "Starving…need food." She moaned as her eye twitched.

"Yes…I could tell you were going to since you were continuously beating the other contestants in the Sonic games and Pokemon battles without a lunch break in between." Kris responded before her stomach growled as well. Mona shot her friend a dark look.

"And you wouldn't stop beating the other players as Sephiroth for…let's see…six hours?" Mona asked as she sat up. Kris' left eye twitched before she too fell over and moaned. Mona paused before spotting a nest in the Chocobo herd and a very evil thought passed through her mind.

"Ah-ha…" She smirked. "Hey Kris…you want scrambled eggs?"

Kris sat up and spotted what Mona was looking at. She did a double take and her jaw twitched.

"Mona…you're not really suggesting that are you?" Kris asked nervously.

"I am..." Mona grinned with an evil grinch look.

"But-but those are Chocobo we're talking about!"

"Very plump ones indeed..."

"I won't do it! You can't make me do it!"

"Here's an idea…listen to your stomach for once…" Mona said for the blonde's stomach to suddenly gurgle right on cue. "I think it said 'come and get it'…correct?"

Kris nodded intently before the two began to sneak into the confines of the Chocobo herd. They both had gotten within grabbing distance of a nest before pausing.

Mona kept alert despite the complaining of her stomach.

"Okay Kris…" Mona whispered. "We have to be very…very careful not to be spotted by the Chocobo…okay?"

Silence…

Mona paused before turning to see that Kristen was missing from her spot next to her.

"Kris?" Mona suddenly had that ominous feeling creep over her as she saw a familiar shadow over her. "Oh…no…"

"**BANZAI**!" Kris screamed as she pounced onto the nest. All the Chocobo immediately spotted both girls causing Mona to gain a stone anime face. She did not like the way they were glaring at them.

"Kris…put the nest down…" Mona said with clenched teeth.

"**CHOCOBO EGGIES ARE TASTY!**" Kris grinned causing Mona to smack her hand right in the middle of her face.

"We're dead…" She moaned before grabbing Kris by the collar and a random Chocobo egg and running for it as the Chocobo gave chase. "**Why did I tell you to listen to your stomach**!" Mona shouted as she ran down a hill. Kris suddenly snapped back to reality.

"Mona what are you do- IS THAT A CHOCOBO STAMPEDE!" Kris shrieked after refocusing her glasses.

"I suppose we've learned something!" Mona yelled.

"What are you talking about!" Kris yelled back.

"Never tell a Chocobo that its egg is delicious!" Mona responded.

Kris was still being dragged as she clutched the Chocobo egg with a stunned look. "Did I really say that?"

"Sure did…"

So after a few hours what the duo did to escape the stampede was run…and run…and run…and run…and run a lot more after that before Mona spotted something in the distance.

"Quick! UP THE TREE!" She yelled before the two scrambled up to the highest branch in time for the Chocobo to stampede past and race into the jungle/forest behind them. "Oh…thank god…" Mona gasped.

"OOOOOOOH COCONUTS!" Kris grinned before plucking one of them off a branch above them. A huge rumbling was heard before a whole mountain of coconuts crashed on top of Mona.

"KRIS!" Mona yelled from the inside of the huge pile before pulling herself out, becoming more and more tired. "Oh forget it…" She moaned before sitting back down on the tree branch.

Well, Mona and Kris were too scared at the thought of the Chocobo being down there and decided to spend their first night in the tree. Technically it was their _first_ night _up_ a tree… For Kris it was a matter of keeping herself balanced as she clutched the Chocobo egg. For Mona, on a different matter, it was her trying to plug her ears at Kris' loud snoring AND keep balanced.

"_SSSSSSSSSSNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRKKKKK_!"

(Imperfection: Sorry…)

(QOTSF: glaring at Imperfection)

Mona kept both hands clamped over her ears. One eye was wide and twitching while the other was closed shut giving her a rather humorous imitation of an Invader Zim character. She suddenly felt a sudden wetness on her arm before sniffing it.

Drool…

"Ugh…gross!" Mona grimaced before backing up away from her friend's sleeping form, not realizing the branch was getting thinner and thinner as she went. A sudden crack later and Mona had fallen onto the forest floor.

"YAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Mona zipped up to the topmost portion of the tree and gasped before realizing no Chocobo was present at that point. Issuing a sigh of relief she cautiously got back to Kris and started poking at her. "Kris! Wake up!"

What she didn't know was that Kris was having a nightmare about that "Sesame Street Elephant"………thing…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Kris bolted upright and in her panicked state she brought the Chocobo egg straight down on Mona's head, knocking the brunette out of the tree. Kris' eye twitched as she looked at her friend fall down screaming. "Oops…"

Down below, Sephiroth was sulking through the forest.

"Terrific…there's a huge hole in the ozone, there's overpopulation, and I know something even worse is going to happen to me!" He grumbled.

"…aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

Sephiroth looked up suddenly to see Mona falling towards him.

"I hate it when I'm right…" He groaned before...

**_CRASH!_**

Mona got up in a dazed manner.

"Ow…I didn't know Chocobo eggs were really that hard…" She groaned before crashing back down on top of Sephiroth who started groaning painfully.

Worried about her friend, Kris hurriedly climbed down the tree with the Chocobo Egg in her grasp.

"Mona! Are you oka-…?" Upon seeing Sephiroth, Kris's jaw hung loose and drool seemed to seep from it. "Se-se-se-sephi-se…"

Sephiroth shoved Mona off and stood up painfully.

"Ow…what else can go wrong!" He moaned before seeing Kris staring at him and drooling. "Uh…hi?"

"SEPHIROTH!" Kris squealed, going into _Hyper Mad-Fangirl Mode_ and racing at the silver haired bishounen.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Sephiroth ran off as Kris chased him around, knocking down a few dozen trees in the forest as they went. "I **KNEW** SOMETHING WORSE WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!"

"MY BISHIE!" Kris continued squealing.

Meanwhile, Mona had recovered from her daze and was back on her feet.

"Ow…did anyone get the license plate on that dump truck?" She groaned before hearing the sounds of Sephiroth's yelling and Kristen's fangirly squealing. "This is going to be a long day…" She muttered before picking up the dropped Chocobo Egg and walking casually where Kris had cornered Sephiroth up a tree.

TBC…

* * *

**Imperfection07**: Well…that's the fourth chapter… 

**Sephiroth**: YAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Get her away from me!

**Imperfection07**: Get who away? (Immediately spots Sephiroth up a tree with QOTSF at the bottom)

**Queen** **of** **the** **Sacred** **Flames**: Oh Sephiroth!

**Imperfection07**: (Hits head on keyboard) Good god…


	5. Night in the Woods

Chapter 5: Night in the Woods

* * *

We last left the duo with Sephiroth. As far as we know it, Sephiroth is still stuck in the tree. 

"GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Sephiroth yelled as he clutched onto the tree trunk.

"You know…if he wanted us to leave, why didn't he use his sword in the first place?" Mona asked under her breath so only Kris could hear. Kris didn'tpay attentionsince she was still staring at Sephiroth and drooling.

"Sephiroth…Sephiroth…" She droned with her eyes fixed on the bishounen.

Sephiroth looked at Mona. Both exchanged looks that were easily read as the "Who the crap is he/her?" types before...

"Well?" Sephiroth asked bitterly.

"What?" Mona gripped the Chocobo Egg defensively.

"Aren't you going to do something?"

"Uhm…yah…I was just about to leave you two here and search for Chaos-0." Mona responded, realizing that if Kristen found Sephiroth, maybe she could find Chaos the same way.

"Wait…you mean you aren't going to be weird around me?"

"Of course not! Why should I be!"

"And that's because…?"

"I never got the chance to play Final Fantasy Seven or got a Playstation system so I'm not really a big fan of you…" Mona replied.

"Oh…" It took Sephiroth only a few more seconds to realize that Mona had already walked at least twelve meters in another direction into the forest. "HEY! YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME HERE WITH HER!"

"Try to stop me." She replied coldly before walking off.

"I got mouthed off by a teenager…and one that's searching for a monster composed of water…" Sephiroth groaned before realizing Kris had somehow climbed up the tree and was clutching his leg.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"MY BISHIE!"

* * *

Mona continued walking through the jungle/forest, still hearing Sephiroth's screaming and Kris's fangirly squeals. 

"Okay…if I were Chaos where would I be?" She murmured, still carrying the Chocobo Egg.

"YAAAIIEEE!"

Mona's thoughts were immediately cut off when Sephiroth ran her over as he tried to escape Kris. Kris, on the other hand, tripped over Mona and crashed.

"MY BISHIE!" Kris wailed. Mona's eyes widened once she saw the Chocobo Egg rolling downhill.

"MY BABY!" The brunette shrieked, throwing the stunned Kris off her back and running after the egg. Fortunately she grabbed it in time; unfortunately…there were huge rocks on the path. "OW_OW**OWOW!**_" Mona crashed into a flat limestone before slumping forwards.

Kris caught up with the almost flat brunette who still clutched onto the egg.

"What did you mean by 'Baby'?" She asked in confusion.

"Muff Mup…" Mona growled bitterly.

* * *

Sephiroth continued running before reaching a small lake. 

"I think I lost her…" He gasped before drinking some of the pure water on the surface. Right in the middle of one of his slurps, Sephiroth saw two glowing, green, vicious eyes glaring at him. "Oh great…a water demon…" The silver haired bishounen muttered before Chaos Zero's fist connected with his stomach sending Sephiroth flying back into the forest.

"BLURBLE-BLURBLE-BLURBLE-BLURBLE-BLURBLE!" Chaos snarled before diving back into the water. (Due to the rating, we will not repeat the translation of Chaos's threat)

After Mona was peeled off the rock, she still had a flat personage as Kris hauled her on the ground.

"Are you going to be okay traveling like this?" Kris asked.

"As-_**OUCH**_-long as-_**OWIE**_-we don't-**_OOF_**-go over-**_OW_**-any-_**EEEH**_-rocks-_**OUCH**_!" Mona replied as Kris accidentally bumped her friend into some rocks on the trail and nearly had her crash into a pile of sticks. "Where the-**_OUCH_**-crap is Sephiroth anyway?"

"….aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

"I had to ask…" Mona twitched before Sephiroth crash landed on them.

All three of the humans were in a pile of arms, legs, hair, and let's not forget the Masamune sword.

"Sephiroth! You're going to stab me in the stomach if you keep THAT up!" Mona yelled from under the pile. The trio got back on their feet and Mona (who regained her normal form) went to inspect the Chocobo Egg. "You're okay sweetie? Don't worry, everything's okay…"

"WILL YOU STOP DOING THAT!" Kris asked annoyed by how her friend was acting like a stereotyped mother.

"It's my baby…" Mona shrugged, rubbing her cheek against the egg. Kris' only response was to roll her eyes and grumble.

"If you're not too busy we should probably be looking for Chaos Zero." She said.

"Chaos Zero? Wait, is he mainly composed of water?" Sephiroth asked.

"Yes?" Mona blinked, losing focus on babying the egg. "Did you see him?"

"Of course I did! The thing practically punched me in the stomach and threw me over here!"

"Where is he?"

"…by the lake." Sephiroth pointed.

"THANK YOU!" Mona grinned before running over Sephiroth during her mad dash in the direction the silver-haired bishounen pointed out.

"Sephie? Are you okay?" Kris asked, poking him.

'Sephie' (Clears throat) Sephiroth issued a growl.

"Don't call me Sephie…" Sephiroth replied, getting to his feet.

"Okay my bishie…"

Sephiroth shot her a glare before running in the direction of Chaos Zero's hideout.

* * *

Mona finally arrived at the lake. She continued looking at the body of water before sitting down. 

"Let's see…how did Eggman call him again?" Mona scratched her head before a thought entered her mind. "Of course!"

She stood back up and raised a hand to her mouth.

"_Chaaaaossss_…"

Nothing…

Mona paused before her eye twitched.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT DIDN'T WORK!" She shrieked before aiming a sharp kick at a rock that went sailing into the lake. Unfortunately this sent a huge wall of water spraying out. It also threw out a very confused Chaos Zero.

"BLURBLE?"

"Oh…crap…"

Chaos Zero collided with the brunette (including the egg) and they went flying backwards. The water monster reformed as Mona sat up, trying to clear her vision.

"Blurble? Blurble-blurble?" Chaos tilted its head and stared at her before looking at its water dwelling. "BLURBLE!" All the water was gone and all that could be seen was dirt and the rock Mona threw in.

"Oh…shoot…uh…sorry about that…" Mona cringed. Chaos Zero's eyes narrowed before it shook its head.

"Blurrble…" It replied before Sephiroth flew at him in an attempt to use the horse-cut technique (Imperfeciton: saw it in a Samurai Jack episode…eh-he…). "BLURBLE!"

"HAI-YAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Mona's eyes widened before narrowing and she stormed in between Sephiroth and Chaos-0. This was pretty easy for her since Sephiroth had gone into slow motion for effect.

"What exactly are you doing?" She grumbled as Sephiroth stopped in mid-air and Chaos-0 reformed from its nervous puddle-like state.

"You ruined my Matrixy maneuver!" Sephiroth cursed before landing in time for Kris to bowl him over.

"MY BISHIE!"

"Oh not again…"

"Okay…why don't we just set up camp and forget this happened?" Mona asked, still holding onto the egg.

"Alright fine…we can have some scrambled eggs while we're at it." Sephiroth muttered and glanced at Mona who had suddenly clutched the egg really close to herself and began hissing and baring her teeth as though she were a peeved Arbok. "Or we can find berries…"

"Lets…" She hissed.

* * *

A while later, the group of four (plus one egg) were sitting around a campfire. Somehow Kris managed to locate a traveling Chinese eatery and bought a bunch of different oriental foods. They didn't manage to touch any of the Lo Mien since Mona had somehow managed to eat it all after dumping it in soy sauce. 

"MINEMINEMINE! IT'SALLMINE! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

…yeah…

* * *

As Mona was sleeping on the ground due to all the Lo Mien she had digested in one minute, Kristen, Sephiroth, and Chaos-0 were sitting down on two logs that were knocked down earlier. Kris was explaining how she and Mona got stuck in the video game and the event with the Chocobo (as she was clutching onto Sephiroth). 

"…and now we don't know what we're doing…" She admitted.

"And why us?" Sephiroth gasped as he tried to relinquish Kris' grip.

"Well, we can't travel by ourselves and we picked you guys out in the battle." Kris replied, letting him go.

"What makes you think we'll help?" Sephiroth muttered as he sat down on the other log.

"Blurble-blurble! (_We should_!)" Chaos-0 replied before releasing a whole bunch of other '_burbles'_ which caused Kris and Sephiroth to give him confused looks. Of course he was talking about how it was that they were gentlemen (clears throat) and how they should help two young ladies in getting back home. "Blurble-blurble, blurble? (_Don't you agree, Sephiroth_?)"

It only took Sephiroth a moment to realize the translation before becoming a bit peeved. "YOU double-crossing (insert swear word)!"

"Blurb! Blurble-blurb! (_What! What'd I do_!)" Chaos yelped as it dove behind the log and peered back up nervously with his unblinking green eyes.

"Hey! Don't curse in front of my baby!" Mona shrieked, somehow waking up from her slumber. Everyone stared at her (again) before she realized how ridiculous this was. "Uh…I fall asleep now!" Then she fell back to sleep in a split second.

"Blur-ble… (_Oh…kay_…)" Chaos muttered.

Sephiroth clenched his teeth before sitting back down bitterly. "Alright, FINE! The sooner I get away from you idiots the better."

"YAAY!" Kris smiled before glomping him resulting in a suppressed yell. "I'm traveling with Sephie-kins! AWESOME!"

Chaos looked at him and shrugged. "(_It could've been worse_…)"

"And HOW?" Sephiroth asked.

"(_Well…uh…I…I go sleep now!_)" With that, Chaos-0 fell off the log and began sleeping in its puddle like state. Sephiroth only glared and resumed trying to force Kris off by any means possible (he's not going to resort to gnawing off his leg, trust me).

* * *

The rest of the night, the four were sleeping around the campfire. Sephiroth had given up trying to force Kris off his leg since she had fallen asleep clinging onto it. Chaos tossing and turning in his sleep spraying water every time he splashed back down, and Mona was still clinging onto the Chocobo Egg. 

If only she had noticed it was cracking open…

* * *

The next morning, Mona was the first to wake up and see two bird feet in front of her. She immediately looked up and… 

"WOOKIE-WOO!"

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!**"

TBC…

* * *

"Author's Commentary" 

Shadow: Well! What happens next?

Imperfection07: Can't tell you.

Shadow: PLEASE? I'll give you pocky! (Holds up a box of pocky)

Imperfection07: (glares)Forget it!

_Please Review_!


	6. Angel Island Accident

**Final Fanatic**

Chapter 6: Angel Island Accident

* * *

When we last left our heroes… 

"Wookie-Woo!"

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH**!"

…yeah…

There in front of Mona was a one foot tall black Chocobo. It looked up at the human in front of it with its large round cute eyes and squawked, "Wark! (_Mommy_!)"

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Mona screamed and ran. "I'm NOT your MOMMY!" She protested.

"Wark-Wark-Wark-Wark-Wark-Wark-Wark! (_Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!)_"The little black Chocobo ran after his 'mommy'.

"I tried…"

Kris, who was still clutching to Sephiroth as she slept, woke hearing a loud noise. Her eyes widened when she saw its source. There in front of her was her friend Mona, running around the campfire like a crazed chicken, while being chased by a little black chicken. She blinked once, twice, then she fell right back to sleep (she's a heavy sleeper). Kris woke up again a short time later when she, Sephiroth and Chaos were run over by Mona and the Chocobo.

For the next ten minutes the fan girl, the silver haired bishie, and the water monster watched Mona run around the campfire being chased by a Chocobo. After a half hour it started getting old. So Sephiroth came up with a solution, he stuck his leg out in Mona's path, which caused her to trip (Mona: "AAAHHHHHHHHHH!") and crash into a nearby tree (Mona: "….Ow…").

After Mona recovered and tried to clobber Sephiroth, although it was pretty hard since she was being 'hugged' by a bird, the group continued on their journey…with the Black Chocobo tagging along.

"I'm tired… I'm hungry… I'm thirsty… I'm bored… Are we there yet?" Kris complained. "And when are we going to get out of this FOREST?" Suddenly they ran out of trees, as well as land. "Whoa!" Kris was pulled back by Sephiroth just in time before she could fall right off the edge of the island. "Oh… never mind…"

"What the hell? The island's floating!" Sephiroth exclaimed before suddenly realizing he was holding onto Kris. A very awkward silence ensued before he slowly relinquished his grip.

"Well duh! It's the FLOATING ISLAND!" Mona grinned before it faded. "Wait…if this is the Floating Island/Angel Island, then how did the Chocobo herd get up here?"

"Who knows? I mean…this is a collaboration of a whole bunch of video games." Kristen shrugged.

"You've got a point." Mona agreed before resting her chin on her fist in a thinking manner. "_So this is a collaboration of games, eh?_" Then a grin came onto her face.

"Wark?" Choco (the Chocobo) continued staring at its imprinted mother with curiosity in its eyes.

"I'VE GOT IT!" The brunette suddenly shrieked causing the other three to stumble. "Our way to beating this game is to collect all the **_CHAOS EMERALDS!_**"

"Okay…why did you italicize and bold print the words 'Chaos Emeralds'?" Kris asked.

"Well…I thought it would look cool." Mona replied. Kristen just stared before slapping her palm into the middle of her face.

"…Sonic fanatic…" Removing her hand, "So, how do we even start? This is a demo game and I really doubt the creators even created a real plot."

"Well…we started out on the Floating Island for a good reason. I'll bet we have to find **_Knuckles the Echidna_**-OUCH!" Mona held her head where Sephiroth nailed her with the blunt end of his Masamune Sword.

"Can we please get on with this?" Sephiroth asked bitterly.

"Right, right… I'm not sure where the Master Emerald altar is, but I've seen it several times playing Sonic 3, Sonic 3 and Knuckles, Sonic Adventure 2… (Sees Kris slapping blunt side of Masamune Sword into palm and clearing throat) …I guess wandering around in a random direction would be a good start."

* * *

So the group began walking in a random direction. It wasn't long before they spotted bouncing mushrooms. 

"AH! I remember now! We have to bounce on these mushrooms!" Mona announced. Everyone (except Choco and Mona) stared at the mushrooms and back at her with _You-have-got-to-be-kidding-me_ looks. "C'mon! It's quite simple!"

Sephiroth barely had time to react once the brunette shoved him towards a mushroom.

"WHY YOU LITTLE B-(BOING!)-RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!" Sephiroth yelled as he bounced from one mushroom to the next.

Kris' eyebrow rose slowly. "Um…I'm not sure if that's sa-(SHOVE-BOING)-AAAAAAAAAAAAAFE!" She immediately went bouncing after Sephiroth.

Chaos glanced at Mona and ran straight into the mushroom. "BLURBLE!"

"I know they're going to kill me later, but what the heck." Mona picked up the hatchling and bounced onto the mushroom. "YEEE-HAAAAAAW!"

"WOOOKIE-WOOOO!"

Kris continued letting out a yell as she tried to keep her glasses on and keep up with her bishie. Sephiroth had no coordination on how he was bouncing and almost landed on his nose ten times in a row. Chaos bounced from one mushroom to the next with no problem at all. Mona and Choco, on another hand, were having a field day.

"I'm (BOING) going (BOING) to (BOING) be (BOING) SICK!" Sephiroth shouted as he began turning an odd shade of green. Chaos glanced at him, wide eyed, before bouncing ahead at a fast rate.

"_You'd better not throw up on me!_" Chaos gargled in his ancient tongue.

About a few seconds later, Mona and Choco caught up with Kris who was getting balanced as she bounced.

"You sure this is a good idea!" Kris asked between bounces.

"Well, it was a good idea before I saw the Piranha Plants!" Mona yelped and dodged before a red and white plant with razor-like teeth shot up from behind her.

"Oh…nice…" Kris grumbled, dodging another one of the snapping mouths. Choco chirped in panic as Mona bounced high enough to clear a leaping plant. Chaos snarled and dodged, going backwards and smacking away any plant that got close to its charges.

Sephiroth's eyes narrowed before he drew his Masamune Sword. Kris' eyes widened and she yelled.

"SEPHI! WAIT! Don't kill it!" The blonde shouted, dodging a plant which Chaos-0 smacked away.

"Why not!" Sephiroth growled (apparently disliking the pet name) before slashing one in two.

There was a silence before a rumble caught their attention. Looking behind, they saw a tidal wave of the piranha plants rushing right towards them.

Out of someone's cruel humor, the piranha plants bunched together to form a much larger one similar to a Cradily (from Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire) only it had much bigger teeth.

"Nice job…idiot…" Mona glowered.

"How was I supposed to know killing that weed would make the others do THAT!" Sephiroth retorted bitterly.

"Uh…maybe we should be running (clears throat) um bouncing and screaming for our lives right now." Kris swallowed.

"Good idea…" The brunette nodded before they did the suggested alternative and took off.

* * *

Knuckles the Echidna was doing the usual: watching the Master Emerald, sleeping by the Master Emerald, and other things related to the big glowing rock. It so happened he was so absorbed in watching the pulsing green glow that he didn't notice the screaming from the background. 

"Ah…what a nice day…"

"**HELP**!"

"The sun is shining…"

"**KILLER** **PLANTS**!"

"Eggman's not here…"

"**BLURBLE**!"

"Someone's screaming…" Knuckles stopped gazing at the rock and turned in time to hear three simultaneous cries of "**_HELP_**!"

"Sigh…great…another Pokemon trainer or Final Fantasy character got into the Piranha Plant territory…" The red echidna glowered before turning away from the noise.

* * *

"Okay! Whoever designed this part must have a **really bad **sense of humor!" Kris shouted angrily. 

"I'd scream _Darn You Nintendo_ but I'm a major fan of Pokemon!" Mona yelped, dodging one of the extra heads. Choco issued a chirp of panic before seeing something that made its eyes water: Chocobo Greens.

"WOOKIE-WOO!" Immediately it jumped out of the brunette's arms and ran directly towards the field.

"AAH! Choco what the heck are you doing?" Mona shrieked before seeing the Black Chocobo had dove into a field of Chocobo greens and was munching on it nonstop before finishing up the entire thing and standing still.

The Chocobo suddenly let out a "WOOOOOOOOOOOOKIEEEEEE-WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" before running extremely fast towards its "mommy".

"Uh…what just happened!" Mona yelped before she was knocked into a seated position onto the Chocobo which immediately knocked into Kris, Chaos-0, and Sephiroth (In that exact order…) as a way to get them on its back. This almost got Mona squashed by the combined weight.

If one had seen a 2 foot baby Chocobo carrying four different things on its back…he or she would've lost their minds.

"Chocobo Greens are supposed to raise the different status of Chocobo!" Kris exclaimed. "I never saw it having an effect like THIS!"

"You obviously haven't been inside a _real_ Chocobo Ranch…" Sephiroth groaned, turning a greenish color again. "Oh… my stomach…"

* * *

So, as the group was riding on that one baby Chocobo, which is quite strange for anyone to view, Knuckles the Echidna was sitting at the Master Emerald Altar. 

"(Sigh), I wonder if those bumbling idiots are surviving…" Knuckles commented before hearing a loud Chocobo cry and a dirt trail. "What the heck is that!"

As if answering his question, Choco had run directly towards him before screeching to an abrupt halt. The sudden halt sent Mona, Sephiroth, Kris, and Chaos-0 flying into the Master Emerald which tumbled off the altar and rolled down the hill and into the forest. Knuckles yelped in panic before tossing something shiny for no apparent reason (good old RPG logic…) and running after the huge rock.

"I'M COMING MASTER EMERALD!" He cried out.

Kris was the first to get up and hold her head. "Oh-kay…I wasn't ready for that…"

Sephiroth only let out a groan and clamped both hands over his mouth in an attempt not to throw up. Chaos-0 was half-way through its puddle state and shaking like a blob of jell-o, Choco had fallen asleep with its beak tucked under its wing, and Mona got clonked in the head with the shiny object.

"OUCH! Who-what-where-when-…ooooh!" A pause later, Mona was staring at a spot on the ground which kept on shining every moment or so. "Cool! They added some Pokemon Colloseum/XD stuff!"

A swift moment later, Mona was holding up a green Chaos Emerald. "Oooh…_shiny_…"

"Um…Mona? You're starting to sound like Rouge…" Kris commented. Mona stopped her senseless stare at the Chaos Emerald and regained her original stance.

"Eh-heh…right…sorry about that…" She shrugged before pocketing the emerald.

"Don't you think we should return that thing before Knuckles comes back?" The blonde asked.

"I don't think he's going to…from the looks of things he's going to be after the Master Emerald…" Mona commented before a thought came to mind. "Wait…if the Master Emerald is off the altar…then what's holding up the island-…"

Everyone stared at each other. Chaos-0's eyes widened considerably in realization and the two girls exchanged worried glances.

"You don't think…" Kris started.

"Um…I remember the island falling in Sonic Adventure…" Mona said out loud before her eyes widened and she slapped her palm into her face. "Oh me and my big fat-…"

(**_HUGE SPLASH_**!)

"HELP! I'M DROWNING! HELP! SAVE ME!" Kristen yelled as she flailed around like a retarded Magicarp. Suddenly, Sephiroth grabbed her by her collar and lifted her up and above the water.

"Why don't you try standing up?" Sephiroth said as he dropped Kristen, who landed on her feet in three-foot-deep water.

Kristen blinked at Sephiroth, then leaped into his arms and squealed, "You saved me!"

The silver-haired Bishonen was about to drop her when suddenly he felt something nibbling on his boot from under the water. His left eye twitched, "Chaos that had better not be you."

**_CHOMP! _**

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Sephiroth yelled as whatever bit him launched him into the air. Kristen and Sephiroth screamed and landed on top of a conveniently placed brunette and the water monster.

_**CRASH!**_

"You know, this is starting to get old." mumbled Mona who was underneath the pile. Choco swam past her like a goose, chucking happily.

Sephiroth groaned and lifted his leg, glaring at the piranha fish from Mario Bros. that had its teeth sunk into his foot.

**_THWAK! _**The fish went flying towards the horizon and disappeared with a starry _ting_.

The pile managed to pull themselves together…err… apart I should say, and looked around at the damage. The once-floating island was half-sunk in the middle of an ocean, flooded, crumpling and in total disarray.

"We are in deep, major, doo-doo." said Mona.

"Why?" Kristen asked.

"Well for one thing THE ISLAND IS SINKING AND WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN!" Mona yelled, causing everyone to go temporarily deaf. "Eh…not to mention here could be a peeved echidna just waiting to kill us."

"Oh, that would be a problem," Kristen said as Mona suppressed the urge to hit her. "I wonder what will happen to the Chocobo…" Then a noise caused the blond to turn around. There behind them was a line of Chocobo marching single-file to the water. One by one they jumped in and swam like a flock of ducks. "Okay, I'm not even going to ask about that and..."

"_WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE MASTER EMERALD HAPPENED TO MY ISLAND_!"

Everyone tried to suppress their laughter at the sight of the angry echidna hopping angrily on top of his Master Emerald, which was floating in the water. They would have actually laughed too if a Gyarados hadn't leaped out of the water and swallowed Knuckles and the Emerald whole.

"Um, I don't think we'll be seeing him for a while," said Sephiroth as he sweat-dropped.

Then the Gyarados turned to them.

"_Not good_." Chaos yelped.

"WhatarewegonnadoWhatarewegonnadoWhatarewegonnadoWhatarewegonnado!" Kristen jabbered in panic as the Gyarados raced towards the sinking, flooded island.

Then suddenly Sephiroth sprouted black feathered wings (the ones he was famous for in Kingdom Hearts). "Now these things have a purpose." He grabbed the two girls, the Chocobo (actually it was in Mona's arms at the time), and the water monster and took off into the air as the sea serpent pokemon crashed into the island, causing it to sink completely. "Man, you girls aren't as light as you look." Sephiroth said when they were clear from danger.

"Are you saying I'm **fat**!" Mona growled. She grabbed Chaos, who somehow turned into an ice mallet. Before the bishie could respond, she whacked him with the Chaos-mallet. That's when she remembered that Sephiroth was flying and carrying them hundreds of miles above the sea. "Oh CRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD!"

_**SPLOOT!**_

Thankfully they landed close to dry land which they scurried onto.

"We're alive! We're **ALIVE**!" Mona wailed before kissing the ground causing Kris to stare and shuffle away.

"_No thanks to you_…" Chaos grumbled, crawling past them.

"That and…will you stop kissing the ground!" Sephiroth yelled, still peeved that she was the one who hit him with a mallet. Mona abruptly looked up and wiped the sand off her face. "Thank you! And we're stuck in who knows where!" He finished, having his wings disappear.

"Well…we can always wander in a direction for our search for civilization and the **_Chaos Emeralds_**." Mona pointed out causing everyone (except Choco) to glare. "Shutting up…"

* * *

At least a few minutes after the group wandered in a direction, Knuckles the Echidna scurried out of the water onto the beach coughing and gasping for air. One would notice the Gyarados saliva and sea water covering him from head to foot. 

"Oh…just wait till I get my hands on those guys…uugh…at least the Master Emerald's in one piece…" Knuckles began feeling the ground beside him before his eyes widened. The echidna turned towards the ocean in time to see the Gyarados that had swallowed him spit out the Master Emerald before it shattered and its shards flew all over the place.

Of course Knuckles was twitching a whole lot.

* * *

Chaos-0 paused and looked back towards the beach causing the group to stop and look at it. 

"What's up Chaos?" Kris asked.

"_Ah… I think the Master Emerald just broke…and Knuckles is going to kill us once he catches up._" Chaos-0 gargled before ushering the group forwards.

"Why should I be worried? It's just an echidna." Sephiroth commented.

"Actually Sephiroth…" Mona turned to him, halting Chaos-0's ushering. "That _echidna_ is strong enough to snap you in two pieces-…"

"**_I'LL GET THOSE MORONS!_**" Knuckles was heard bellowing before a huge dirt trail was seen as he dashed towards them.

"…and we will now run screaming for our lives…" The brunette finished, her eyes widening.

"Why not apologize and say it was an accident?" Kris asked.

"Well… (1) You cannot reason with an angry echidna, and (2) he's hell bent on killing us." Mona explained, still having a huge urge to run. "And the Master Emerald's broken so that's a big plus to him going to maul us…"

"Got it…" Kris replied before the group backed up and sprinted away from the echidna who was yelling profanities and threats the entire time.

**To be continued**…

* * *

Knuckles: (still chasing Chaos-0, Choco, Kris, Mona, and Sephiroth) JUST YOU WAIT! I'M GONNA… RAAARGH! 

Mona: How long should we keep running!

Kris: Until the next chapter gets updated!

Mona: And that's going to be a while…yes?

Kris: (Nods)

Mona: Aw crap…

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!


	7. Not the Face!

Final Fanatic  
Chapter 7: "NOT THE FACE!"

* * *

We last left our heroes/heroines running away from Knuckles the Echidna. The red mobian was still yelling out threats and trying to launch several special attacks at them. 

"WE SAID WE WERE SORRY!" Kris yelled.

"He's really not listening!" Mona shouted as they continued running before spotting a city that conveniently had a huge colloseum in the middle.

Sephiroth's eyes suddenly narrowed before glancing at the echidna. "_Okay…I am SICK and TIRED of running so_…" He immediately came to a halt and forced one of his hands forwards. "**_DECEND HEARTLESS ANGEL_**!"

_**KA-BOOOM!**_

Of course after the huge explosion, Knuckles was hurtled a far distance over the horizon, disappearing like the Piranha Plant had earlier. The four characters behind the silver haired bishounen stared bug eyed.

"Wow…I've heard of him doing that in Kingdom Hearts…" Mona commented. "Never thought I'd see him do that."

"That…was…SO COOL!" Kris squealed before glomping Sephiroth.

"Let…go!" Sephiroth growled, his face oddly turning a shade of pink. The brunette slunk in closer and smiled.

"Aw…is the big and mighty Sephie-kins BLUSHING!" Mona grinned causing Sephiroth to twitch and shoot her a glare with his icy blue eyes.

"**_DESCEND HEARTLESS ANGEL!_**"

(Another huge explosion and Mona getting flung into the air saying: "**_I REGRET NOTHING_**!" before crashing onto the ground)

It was dusk by the time Chaos-0 had absorbed the green chaos emerald to temporarily evolve into Chaos-1 (his larger form) so he could carry around the half-conscious teenager who was twitching every now and then. Choco walked next to him, keeping a wary eye on its 'mom'.

"_You really didn't have to do that Sephiroth…_" Chaos-1 muttered aloud.

"She was asking for it…" Sephiroth retorted as Kris walked in front. "The only reason why I was traveling with these two morons is…"

"…_because you care about **her**_?" The guardian commented. "_Well…Mona did see you blushing when Kris hugged you…_"

"Oh shut up water-fiend…" Sephiroth grumbled, turning a bit reddish as he faced forwards.

"_Alright…fine…_" Chaos-1 merely shook his head before muttering to himself. "_…jerk's in denial…_"

"I HEARD THAT!" Sephiroth shouted before the Green Chaos Emerald in Chaos-1's right arm started glowing. "What's with your arm?"

Mona, somehow regaining her senses, leaped off Chaos-1 and grabbed the Emerald. "There's a Chaos Emerald nearby!" She announced with glee.

"_Uh…maybe you should've left it in there._" Chaos-1, now Chaos-0, said worriedly.

Kris walked back towards the group in order to see the situation better. "Another Chaos Emerald?"

"Indeed my friend!" Mona grinned. "It's so close I could feel it-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Everyone stared as they watched Mona keeping a good grip on the Chaos Emerald as it flew in a direction.

"Okay…that was just weird…" Kris said aloud before Choco frantically ran after Mona.

"WARK-WARK-WARK…!" The Chocobo continued crying out before it went out of earshot.

The remaining three stood in place a bit stunned before running after the brunette and Chocobo. The chase after Mona and the flying Chaos Emerald lasted at least a few minutes before the brunette crashed headfirst into the Colusseum wall, still clutching the Chaos Emerald.

_**WHAM!**_

"Ow…"

Kris ran over to Mona and tried to peel her friend off the wall with little success.

"Are you okay Mona!" Kris asked worriedly.

"It depends on what you call 'okay'." The brunette replied with her voice slightly muffled before Sephiroth successfully tugged her off like a sticker.

"_Hey, don't say I didn't warn you._" Chaos-0 muttered before picking up the Chaos Emerald and reforming back into Chaos-1. Kris suddenly looked up to see the poster which Mona had collided with earlier.

"Interesting… it's a tournament to see who the best fighter is." Kris said aloud. "And the grand prize for surviving all the rounds is the Navy Chaos Emerald."

"AWESOME! WE'VE GOT TO ENTER!" Mona shouted, a bit ecstatic.

"Um…weren't you writhing in pain earlier?" Sephiroth asked.

"Does that matter right now…?" The brunette muttered before seeing that Kris was staring at the poster. "Uh…Kris, are you okay!"

"Vega…" Kris droned.

"Ve-wha!" Mona stared at the poster to see a whole bunch of the Street Fighter 2 characters. Exasperated, she narrowed her eyes. "Oh…him."

"_Who's Vega_?" Chaos-1 asked as Kris was droning 'Vega' over and over again.

"Another video game character that Kris is obsessed with." Mona replied before seeing Sephiroth glowering at the image of Vega. "Uh…you're not jealous are you?"

Sephiroth snapped out of his killer trance and shook his head before standing up proudly. "Me! Jealous! Ha! What makes you think THAT?"

"Never mind…" Mona sighed before walking to the poster and pulling it down. "The tournament is supposed to start tomorrow…which means we can stay here until it opens and register you two in."

"US?" Sephiroth and Chaos-1 yelped.

"No…the other silver haired bishounen and water monster. YES YOU TWO!" Mona said with sarcasm in her voice.

"Why don't you two enter?" Sephiroth asked.

"Because you promised to travel with us until we get out of this video game." The brunette grinned. "And you guys have something we don't: POWERS!"

"Crap." Both characters muttered simultaneously before Mona saw Kris was staring at the poster she was holding up. Pausing, she moved the poster in a direction only to have Kris' eyes follow. Eyes narrowing, she pulled it away and rolled it up so Vega's image was concealed and Kris snapped out of her daze.

"Whoa! What! What just happened!" Kris held her head like a Psyduck's and tried to get her head clear.

"You were drooling over Vega." Mona glared, stuffing the relatively small poster in her pocket before realization hit her yet again. "I didn't say that…"

"Vega…Vega…Vega…Vega…" Kris smiled, dazed again. Mona's eye twitched before she promptly imitated a Samurai failure rite by smacking the rolled up poster into her face and falling over.

**The next morning…**

"Alright…how the heck can there be a huge line when we were in front at the counter to begin with!" Mona yelled. "This game is **RIGGED**!"

Indeed, the group was at the back of the line which consisted of 100 challengers and spectators. Kris was back to her normal self and was trying to calm the teenager down.

"C'mon Mona...you can wait…"

"**_WAIT_** Who's at the front of this stupid line anyway!" She yelled. "Okay…hold my spot, I'll be right back!"

Well…it took her a while before seeing it was a Slowpoke which was taking its time raising its hand up to receive its ticket.

"Oh…hell…" Mona's teeth clenched before storming back to her place which she saw was occupied by bodybuilder Zook (from Pokemon XD Gale of Darkness). "Hey! That's my spot!" She protested angrily.

"Not anymore!" Zook grinned before releasing his Shadow Zangoose. "I welcome you to try and take it."

That was when Mona fully snapped under pressure and one could see her eyes turning a deadly white as they twitched. "Okay…that's does it!"

_**WHAM!**_

Zook and his Shadow Zangoose were immediately sent flying into the horizon before Mona retook her spot and started breathing in and out trying to calm herself down enough to think reasonably.

"Uh…are you going to be okay?" Kris asked nervously.

"There's…a **SLOWPOKE**…at the front of the line…" She hissed.

"_Um…that's a bit of a rude name to call someone._" Chaos-1 said aloud.

"No…there's a **_Slowpoke_** as in the pre-evolution of **_Slowbro_** and **_Slowking_** in front of the line." Mona glared.

"_Oh…_"

"Is that why it's taking so long!" Sephiroth growled. "You know…we've been in line for at least three hours and my patience is wearing thin so…"

The group, understanding where this was going, ducked behind the bishounen.

"**_DESCEND HEARTLESS ANGEL!_**"

(Another huge explosion and the spectators in front, including the Slowpoke are sent flying)

"Well…we could've done THAT in the first place." Mona grumbled before they walked towards the entrance past the injured and unconscious game characters Sephiroth had blown up.

The group walked up to the registration desk where a bored-looking woman sat leisurely chewing on a large wad of purple gum which kept making snapping sounds. She didn't give a second look to either Chaos or Sephiroth.

"Hello, our friends would like to sign up for the tournament." Kris said, gesturing to the bishie and water monster.

**Snap **went the girl's gum as she handed them two clipboards with papers attached. "Fill these out and sign the legal papers underneath."

"Legal papers?" Sephiroth asked.

**Snap **

The silver-haired bishounen twitched at the sound, and then read the legal paper, "… I the undersigned hereby enter this tournament of my own free will and comprehend all the risks I will take upon entry and waiver responsibility of my life from the Tournament Committee and the Game Company whether I am killed, maimed, destroyed, have my soul sucked into another dimension for all eternity, etcetera, or have my weapons broken, set against me, destroyed beyond repair, etcetera, or receive any injuries that will result in permanent disabilities, deformations, or fatal illnesses, etcetera, caused by physical weapons, mental kinesis, or magic, etcetera…"

**Snap** (Sephiroth twitches) "You get hurt, you can't sue us."

"_Oh, okay!_" Chaos naively signs.

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this!" Mona grumbled to herself.

"Come on Sephie sign it! You can't lose." Kris hugged his muscular arm.

**Snap **

"That's it…**_ DESCEND HEARTLESS ANGEL!_**"

(Another huge explosion and the girl at the desk was sent flying, gum and all.)

"_Was that really necessary?_" Chaos asked.

"Yes," Sephiroth grabbed their tickets from behind the desk and entered the Collusseum.

"Holy Miltank!" exclaimed Mona. Hundreds of fighters, warriors, even Pokemon, and Digimon were gathered at the massive Collusseum, training and practicing for the coming event. "Well, hopefully there'll be a preliminary round to eliminate the light-weights, right Kris? ... Kris?"

Mona's friend turned out to be staring at one of the fighters with little hearts floating above her head (which Choco pecked at curiously). Following the blonde's gaze, Mona found a lithe but muscular fighter who wore only blue and gold tights with a red sash tied around his waist. He also had long braided blonde hair, a white mask, a claw on his right hand, and a purple snake tattoo that wrapped around his chest. The masked fighter did a couple of fancy back flips, followed by a leap in the air for an aerial attack. **SLASH**! His opponent was down. His chest glistening with sweat, the victorious fighter removed his mask, revealing the beautiful face of Vega.

"Show off." mumbled Sephiroth.

Of course the sight of a sweaty, half-naked bishie was too much for Kris to handle, **_Thud_**!

"_She fainted_!" said Chaos.

"She didn't even do that with me!" Sephiroth suddenly wailed. Mona, Chaos, and Choco stared at the silver haired bishie with wide eyes. Sephiroth coughed, "Uh, not that I care…"

"Riiiiight…" Mona looked over her friend, "Kris? You okay?"

"Bishie overload." Kris mumbled in a monotone voice. "Total shutdown, preparing to reboot…" and Choco still pecked at the little floating hearts above her head.

"Kristen, would you please…" Mona grimaced before getting Kris back into a standing position and suddenly shaking her like a bottle of chocolate milk. All they could see of Kris was a blur of colored pixels (remember it's a video game they're in) going up-down, left-right, or something of a combination of the four. "**_SNAPOUT OF IT_**!"

"AH-Mona-stop-shaking-me-I'm-FINE!" Kris yelled before Mona stopped shaking her and placed her down (note: tall for a 14 year old). Wobbling, the blonde tried to stand up straight. "You didn't have to do that you know…"

"Well…I'm going to have to do it again if you continue going through that '**Bishie-overload**'-thing…" Mona replied indifferently before footsteps caught their attention and the group spotted Vega walking towards them.

Sephiroth glowered at the other bishounen feeling slightly envious of how hearts were floating above Kris's head once Vega stood in front of them.

"Welcome fellow travelers," Vega turned to Kris. "And hello beautiful young lady…"

Kristen almost swooned before Mona discreetly stomped on the nearest foot.

"Hi…" Kris said once she overcame the sudden pain.

Vega glanced at Sephiroth (completely ignoring Chaos-1) and smirked. "How strange how an angel like herself wound up with a clone." Sephiroth restrained the urge to draw his Masamune as Vega turned back to Kris and Mona. Mona, due to her knowing Vega was a villain in the anime, held firm.

"_That stupid blonde pussy…who's he calling a clone_?" Sephiroth twitched.

"So…I take it you're competing as well." Mona said out loud.

"Indeed," Vega smiled. "I see you're the two users that got brought here."

"News travels quickly in game world does it?" The brunette asked as Chaos-1 stepped up next to her. Vega glanced at the green chaos emerald in the right arm only to hear a low growl from the water beast.

"_I don't trust him…_" Chaos-1 muttered to the human as Vega turned towards Kris and went in front of her.

"I don't either, Chaos." Mona replied under her breath before glancing at Sephiroth who had a demonic background behind him with lightning bolts that caused many competitors to shudder. Choco crowed loudly in fear before ducking behind Mona.

"W-w-wark…"

"It's okay Choco…" Mona whispered, petting it. "Mr. Dark and Demonic is just…err…jealous…"

"**I'M NOT JEALOUS**!" Sephiroth roared causing Mona and Choco to yelp and dive behind Chaos-1.

"Shutting up…"

"Wark…"

"Beautiful young maiden…for you I shall win this tournament…" He said seductively as the hearts floated above Kristen's head once again.

"Oh…Vega…" She droned before Mona's eye twitched and side-glanced Sephiroth's Masamune.

Sephiroth suddenly noticed that his sword was gone from his sheath and that Mona had raised the blunt end over the blonde's head.

**_BONG!_**

Kristen fell backwards, unconscious, before Mona shoved the sword back to Sephiroth and waved him and Chaos-1 off.

"Okay you two, good luck!" She said as she dragged her friend along the ground with Choco following close behind.

"Wookie-woo…"

Sephiroth switched his attention back to Vega and gave the Street Fighter a sharp glare with his blue eyes. Vega had an evil smirk before he walked off, his back towards the FF7/KH character as well as the Chaos Monster. Chaos-1 glanced at Sephiroth and paused for a moment before saying one question out loud: "_Are you sure you're not jealous_?"

"**I'M PERFECTLY SURE YOU IDIOT!**" Sephiroth snapped before heading towards one of the benches which he and Chaos were assigned to (along with the others).

"_Sheesh, I was just asking_…" Chaos-1 muttered.

* * *

Meanwhile, as Sephiroth was fuming and Mona was trying to snap Kristen out of her **Bishie-Overload**, Vega had gone into a secluded area near the back entrance. Looking left and right, he drew out a cell-phone and dialed a number. 

"_Yes…what is it Vega_?" The dark and booming voice answered from the other end.

"The two humans and their three allies have arrived at the Tournament."

"_Ah, very good…you know what to do…_"

"Indeed…I'll be sure to grab that-…"

Before Vega could finish his sentence, the light was switched on showing a very confused janitor which meant the blonde Spaniard was having a private call in the Janitor's Closet.

"¡Salga aquí de usted del idiota¡Estoy haciendo una llamada telefónica privada!(1)" Vega shouted in not-so-fluent Spanish (clamping his hand over the receiver) before the Janitor bolted out and shut the light off in the process. Vega shook his head in disgust before resuming his call. "Sorry about that sir, as I was saying: I'll be sure to grab that Chaos Emerald before the Tournament ends, as well as the prize Chaos Emerald…"

"_You're being repetitive…at any rate, I shall be there shortly to provide assistance if you fail…_" The booming voice muttered before the line clicked off.

Vega shrugged to himself before putting his mask back on and went to open the door…

Of course it had accidentally locked when the janitor left…

"AAAAAAAAAAAARRRGH!"

---

Meanwhile, Chaos-1 was the first to walk onto the battle platform. It immediately heard the cheers from both fan girls (Kris had gotten back into focus) and the Chocobo.

Pausing, it faced its opponent…

Apparently Zook and Zangoose were up first, and they weren't too happy.

"Alright, I got kicked by a girl…and I'm going to make sure you're nothing but a puddle when I'm done with you!" Zook snarled before he sent out Shadow Zangoose. It hissed and arched its back fiercely while the Chaos Monster did nothing but stand in place. "NOW SHADOW ZANGOOSE, SHADOW RUSH!"

The Zangoose began to glow a dangerous purple color before lunging at Chaos-1 with one of its claws outstretched.

_**SPLAH-!**_

Everyone stared with blank looks on their faces when they saw Zangoose immobilized **inside** Chaos-1. Chaos-1 looked down at the Pokemon with half-lidded eyes before literally spitting it out…directly at Zook…

**WHAM!**

"AND ZANGOOSE IS DOWN!" The game announcer cheered as Zook grimaced and forced Zangoose back into its Pokéball.

"Alright…that's it…" He growled before throwing out four Pokemon: Doduo, Relicanth, Carvanha, and Seviper. "I'LL TAKE YOU DOWN WITH FOUR POKEMON AT ONCE!" At once, all four of the pocket monsters charged.

"_You have GOT to be kidding me…_" Chaos-1 muttered before bouncing them directly at the Cipher Grunt…

**CRASH!**

…which meant Zook was in a lot of pain…

The entire crowd in the stadium cheered as Zook was carried off in a stretcher by two Chansey and Chaos-1 lumbered back to his seat.

* * *

Back in the stands, Mona had finished cheering on Chaos-1 "Well, that didn't take long, did it Kris… Kris?" Mona looked around. "Where'd she go?" 

"Wark?" Choco cocked his head to the side, pointing in the direction where Kris went, the concession stand.

Mona glanced over. "Oh, no…"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE OUT OF CHEEZY PRETZELS!" Kris yelled at the snack bar guy, who was cowering under the crazy-girl's twitching glare.

Mona ran over, grabbed the girl and dragged her away, "I can't go anywhere with you,"

"I WANT CHEEZY PRETZELS!" Kris yelled as she was dragged back to her seat.

"Forget pretzels, your Sephie is about to fight," Mona sat her friend next to Choco.

"Sephie!" Kris immediately perked up and stared lovingly at the battle platform.

Down on the battle platform, Sephiroth was ready for battle, his Materia ready and sword in hand. There was only one problem… he had no opponent. '_Looks like Blondie couldn't make it,_' Sephiroth thought.

* * *

Back in the secluded area near the back entrance, loud bangs and Spanish cursing could be heard coming from behind the locked janitor's closet door. "LET ME OUT! I HAVE A FIGHT TO GET TO!" 

"Now this is an interesting turn of events," said the game announcer, which was loud enough for Vega to hear. "It appears that one of our most popular fighters, Vega, is late for his own fight. If he doesn't appear soon, he'll automatically forfeit the match."

"Not in this lifetime," Vega growled, he wasn't going to allow a clone get in his way of the championship, even one that was hot… sexy… not to mention having a nice as— "AUGH! Yaoi thoughts! Get them out! Get them out!" Vega banged his head repeatedly (he had his mask on, so no injuries to his face) on the door, which unexpectedly broke off its hinges from his head-banging's, making him fall forward.

"AHH!"

**CRASH**

"…I'm okay…" he said in a dazed voice.

Vega did eventually make it to the battle platform with only one second to spare after overcoming some rather ridiculous obstacles after escaping the janitor's closet, such as other fighters, pokemon, fan-girls, fan-boys (shudders), reporters, cops (something about deporting him to Spain).

"So, you come to meet your demise?" Sephiroth stood in his battle stance.

"On the contrary clone," Vega struck a pose, all the reporters and fans took snapshots, "I only gave you enough time to say farewell to your friends before I destroyed you,"

"Enough talk and fight already!" someone in the stands yelled.

"Shut-up!" Vega and Sephiroth yelled at the man.

"Sorry…"

The referee then blew the whistle to start the battle and leaped off the platform to evade any injuries. The clash of the bishounen began! Vega dashed forward, attempting his Sky High Claw technique. Sephiroth leaped up, his black wings appeared and flew upward. Vega followed using his Izuna Drop to try and grab the dark winged angel. Sephiroth then raised his sword high above his head.

Then Vega's eyes widened, "AH! Not the face! Not the face!" he squealed like a little girl.

**WANG! CRASH! **

Vega was on the ground, his mask cracked, his face bruised, and his eyes swirling and twitching. All the Vega fan-girls swooned and fainted (well…Mona dumped ice-cubes on Kris to prevent her from doing so) at seeing his face battered.

"Well…didn't expect you to scream like a little girl…" Sephiroth muttered, flicking the blade of the sword as Vega got up, furious.

"You…hit…my…FACE!" The Spaniard flew at Sephiroth with his clawed arm outstretched. Sephiroth's eyes narrowed as he blocked the swings with his Masamune.

"Oh c'mon…what kind of Street Fighter gets worked up about his face…?" Sephiroth commented as he flew a safe distance away. "…Spanish Pussy…"

* * *

Meanwhile a tall dark…and **fat** figure was walking towards the Colusseum. 

"Vega's taking too long…I knew I should've done this myself instead of sending HIM." The figure grumbled before stepping out of the shadows. Bison continued walking towards the entrance where the same girl (still snapping her bubble-gum) was sitting.

"Do you have registration sir?" She asked.

"I'm the patron for this event…" Bison replied.

**Snap** "Fine, go ahead…" The girl waved him off. "…fatso…"

_**(LOUD EXPLOSION)**_

And the girl was sent flying once again…

_**To be continued...**_

* * *

Translation of Vega's yell via Babelfish: Get out of here you idiot! I am making a private phone call! 

Please Review on this chapter!


	8. Get the Chaos Emerald!

Final Fanatic  
**Chapter 8**: Grab the Emerald!

Previously on Final Fanatic,

The group consisting of Chaos-1, Sephiroth, Choco the Black Chocobo, and the two human girls Kris and Mona had recently entered a tournament to obtain the Blue Chaos Emerald. What they discovered later was that a villain character named Vega had entered as well…we last left Sephiroth and Vega in a heated battle…

…a battle over Kristen…?

Err…

Carrying on…

* * *

Bison kept walking in the shadows before getting close enough to the arena so he could witness the event better. Sephiroth and Vega were in a brutal fight, not giving each other a chance to aim a sword strike or claw swipe. It was then the Shadow Law leader spotted the cracked mask lying down on the ground near to him. 

"Oh…not again…"

"YOU HIT MY FACE!" Vega screamed again, cutting off Bison's sentence. The Street Fighter Boss grumbled something incoherent before slapping his palm into his face and running it down.

"…I knew we should've sent someone else…" Bison grumbled before walking to his usual seat on the second floor and squatted on the huge chair placed for him since he was the patron. Bison immediately started scanning the arena with his unblinking white eyes before he spotted Sephiroth dodging and parrying with Vega, Chaos-1 sitting on a bench and eying the Navy Chaos Emerald, and the two girls with a black Chocobo.

The audience continued cheering the names of the two fighters. Vega crouched on all fours like a frenzied cat before springing at Sephiroth who dodged and aimed a good hard slash towards the Spaniard. Sephiroth surprised Vega by disappearing and reappearing behind him, jabbing his sword forward.

Vega quickly evaded the sneak attack, and raised his claw high, "DIE!" Vega screeched.

Sephiroth rolled his eyes, "Oh please… prissy boy…" The silver-haired bishie stuck out his foot, causing the raving Spaniard to trip.

**_Trip _**"AAH!" **_ Crash!_**

"Ooh!" the audience winced, and reporters and tabloids quickly rushed in and camera's flashed, capturing the moment of Vega's near defeat. They of course backed off when Vega slashed their cameras apart and threaten to do something so unpleasant to them that it will be censored from this fanfic.

* * *

"Ouch, this is getting intense…" said Mona from the stands "Right Kris...Kris?" Mona looked around and found Kris. "Oh not again, this is getting ridiculous!" 

Kris was indeed, yet again, drooling over _another_ fighter and was mumbling incoherently.

"Say what?" Mona asked. "Who is it THIS time!"

Kris pointed to the red-haired, white clad fighter down on the ground. "Hwoarang!"

"Huh? How the heck do you pronounce that!" Mona pointed to the text. "I'm not even gonna try and attempt it…"

"I can't believe he's here too!" Kris squealed. "Hwoarang is here, along with Sephiroth _and _Vega! This is the greatest day of my life!"

"Exactly how many bishies do you like?" asked Mona.

"Well, there's…" Kris then pulled out a long list, a very long list, one that unrolled and kept on rolling for ten feet.

"I'm sorry I asked…" Mona moaned.

Kris stared down by the platform, when her eyes spotted a familiar figure, one that resembled the many, many doodles in Mona's sketchbooks. A wicked grin spread over her face (which frightened Choco). "Oh Mona," she said in a sing-song voice.

"What? Not another bishie…" Mona groaned.

Kris then pointed down towards the black and red hedgehog down by the fighting platforms…

This caused Mona's pupils to shrink and be replaced by hearts as she watched the hedgehog "Shadow…Shadow…Shadow…" and pink hearts started floating out of her head. Choco stared at its imprinted mother who continued looking at the black and red hedgehog before she raised her hand horizontally to her face and brought it hard upon her own cheek.

**KER-SLAP!**

"Sorry about that…" Mona grumbled, rubbing her self-inflicted face.

"Do you do that _all the time_!" Kris asked with a bewildered expression.

"Sometimes…only if it's extremely stupid and involves drooling over a furry or bishie I like…" Mona replied to her friend before placing Choco onto her lap and stroking its head.

"More than one bishie? I thought you only liked him!" Kris pointed at the hedgehog.

"…well actually there's A…" Mona stopped suddenly when she spotted the fanfiction's camera pivoted in her direction. "AAAAAAAAARGH! GET THAT STUPID CAMERA OUT OF HERE!"

"WARK-WAAARK!" Choco flew at the camera in a fury of black feathers, bright orange beak, and white claws.

(Both Authoresses are heard screaming "MAD CHOCOBO!" in the background)

* * *

Bison continued watching the battle with a disgruntled expression. He expected Vega to end the match against Sephiroth a while ago. Unfortunately Vega's mind was completely clouded by getting revenge on the one who hit him in the face. Another thought on the evil overlord's mind was to get it over with and snag the emerald. 

"Maybe I should just get that Chaos Emerald…"

* * *

"…_and get this over with…_" Chaos-1 muttered before becoming liquefied and melting into the ground. "_This stupid competition is boring me…_"

* * *

"Okay…the crowd's getting restless…" Mona grumbled aloud. 

"No kidding…" Kris replied.

"No, I meant during the confusion we could…"

"_...swipe the Chaos Emerald and get out of here?_" Chaos-1 asked, catching the brunette, blonde, and Chocobo off guard.

"…aren't you supposed to be down there!" Kris asked.

"Well…actually now that he's here…" Mona said with an evil grin.

"Ooh…no…we are not about to…" Kris looked around and saw people staring at them. "Uhh, get more Ice Cream! I'm running out of Gil from your stomachs!"

"Wark-?" Choco blinked.

Mona decided to act along.

"Oh c'mon…we're not going to send Ice Cream flying all over the place like we did last time!" She whined causing the people to move away from them. "PrettypleasewiththeSephirothactionfigureyouspent600GilforonEBay!"

Choco gave her puppy-dog eyes that would make even the most evil of super villains crack and scream out: "HOW CUUUTE!"

Kris faked to roll her eyes. "Fine…"

"SCORE!" Mona immediately sprang out of her seat (carrying Choco) with Chaos-1 and Kris following.

* * *

"Well…it looks like your Fan-club is leaving you…" Vega sneered once he saw the four leaving their seats. Sephiroth turned slightly in order to view what was going on better before Vega took a cheap shot that knocked him near the border of the arena. 

Sephiroth quickly regained his balance before he fell out of the arena. The silver-haired man growled, his mako-green eyes glowing. "Now that was pathetic,"

Vega leaped, "The only pathetic thing here is you, you science fair reject," He lashed his claws repeatedly, each blocked by Sephiroth's sword. "And once I'm through with you, I'll relish the spoils of my victory!"

"A cheap blue crystal, so what," Sephiroth jabbed and slashed with his sword, Vega, sidestepping each move.

"Not just the Chaos Emerald," Vega sneered. "But your little girlfriends, and your black chicken too!"

"What!" Sephiroth bared his teeth.

_**CLANG!**_

In a flash of metal, Vega's claws and Sephiroth's sword were locked, each struggling against the other.

"That's right clone!" Vega chuckled. "Seducing your girlfriend… what was her name? Oh yes, Kris, wasn't hard at all. All I'll have to woo her friend Mona, be rid of her little water monster, and then turn that black chicken into a fashionable hat!"

_(Imperfection07: Sorry but…you're definitely not on her favorite bishounen and furry list… /raspberries Vega/…well…neither is Sephiroth…)_

_**CLASH!**_

Vega slashed with his other claw and sent Sephiroth flying, towards the edge of the platform. Sephiroth fans screamed, Vega fans cheered, and Vega already struck a pose for the camera, welcoming his certain victory. Then… **_CLANK!_**

"What the?" Vega turned, then his eyes widened.

Sephiroth had saved himself from falling off the platform by jabbing his sword into the stone floor. Now his mako-green eyes were alight with an angry fire, his teeth bared, and his muscles were pulsating with Jenova-infused energy (which slightly unnerved the Spaniard). Then in a burst of speed, Sephiroth launched himself at Vega,

"I—" **POW** "won't let you" **KA-POW** "have--" **KONG** "Kris!" Sephiroth then finished him off with a roundhouse kick that sent Vega flying before Sephiroth took off after him aiming punches, sword slashes, and kicks that would make a boxer's punch look like sissy-slaps.

"This is incredible! Sephiroth's rage is giving him the upper hand against Vega!" The announcer cried out. "It looks like Vega's wishing he hadn't gotten out of bed this morning…"

"Actually he's going to wish he wasn't created by Capcom!" Sephiroth shouted as he had Vega in a painful arm twist that had the Spaniard squirm and smack the ground with a free fist repeatedly before resuming the painful onslaught.

"AAH! NO! STOP! PLEASE! NOTTHEFACESTOPPLEASEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! I'MSORRY! I'MSORRY! I'MSOR-(**SKY-UPPERCUT)** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The last hit sent Vega flying before he crashed onto the ground.

* * *

"Idiot…he shouldn't have said anything to tick that Jenova-clone off!" Bison growled in distaste before getting up. "Can't believe I have to go and save his idiot butt!"

* * *

"_Oh…_" Vega's green eyes shrunk to the size of a flea as Sephiroth flew over him. The one thing that scared the Spaniard the most was that the silver-haired bishounen's eyes were blazing and his sword was raised high over his head, giving him the exact image of the Grim Reaper before the sword was brought down. "…_CRAP_!" 

_**CLANG!**_

That loud noise caught everyone's attention. Kris, Mona, Chaos-1, and Choco abruptly turned to see that Sephiroth's sword blow was blocked by Bison who had a tight grip on the blade. The brunette's teeth clenched when she recognized the character before turning to Chaos-1.

"Chaos, you've got to help Sephiroth!"

"_Understood…_" Chaos-1 nodded before springing towards the battlefield.

"What's going on? I thought this was supposed to be a 1 on 1 battle!" The announcer cried out.

"Not anymore." Bison sneered before reaching a glowing fist back; unfortunately for him a watery claw trapped the limb.

"_Two against one isn't a fair fight…_" Chaos-1 snarled before punching Bison towards the side of the ring. Vega was tossed to the ground a second later.

"I'll make sure you don't seduce anyone else…" Sephiroth snarled, getting his sword ready before Chaos-1 piped in.

"_So Mona was right about you liking Kris…?_"

"SHUT UP!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Mona Kris and Choco had finally found the case with the Navy Chaos Emerald inside.

"Ah…perfect…"

"We might get caught, you know…" Kris muttered.

"Nah, we'll be fine." Mona replied before recklessly prying off the glass frame which slipped from her fingers (Oops) and fell to the floor.

_**CRASH!**_

"Uh…woops…?" The brunette noticed sweat-drops on her friend and Chocobo's faces as the alarm went off. A nervous flat-face followed this _silence_. "…RUN!"

With that, she had grabbed both her friends and the emerald before running out with several guards giving chase.

"Any more stupid ideas?" Kris asked as she was being pulled through the air at a fast rate.

"Less talking more running!" Mona shrieked as she turned a corner and the guards smacked into the wall as they tried to turn as well.

* * *

Outside, Sephiroth and Chaos-1 were trying to fight back Bison and Vega. Sephiroth currently was attacking Vega's weak point: the face; and Chaos-1 was trying to withstand the psycho power emitting from Bison as it tried forcing back the energy charged fists with its watery claws.

"The match is apparently very difficult for both teams. Vega is getting the beat down of a lifetime by Sephiroth (Vega: -LOUDPROFANITYWORDTOWARDSANNOUNCER-) and Chaos is having a tough time with it only having one Chaos Emerald to protect it from all that energy."

"_You're not helping…_" Chaos-1 muttered as it dug in its watery heels.

* * *

Back with Choco, Kris, and Mona…

"They're catching up!" Mona yelled, still clutching onto the Emerald. Kris was currently holding onto Choco and looking around desperately for an exit towards the stadium.

"That way," Kris pointed out the doorway which showed the stadium filled with thousands of bolts of electricity. Both girls and Chocobo veered into the door and slammed it behind them causing the guards to smack into it like combined wads of digital bubble gum.

"Oh, oh I can't believe we made it…" Mona gasped, keeping a death-grip on the navy Chaos Emerald. "You're both alright?"

"Yep…" Kris replied with her back against the door as she tried to catch her breath before standing up and dusting herself off. "I never want to do that again…"

"Yeah…and…" Mona went rigid as a dark blue background (signifying uneasiness in most anime) showed up behind her.

"What the…hell?" Kris and Choco stared before the brunette suddenly jumped up.

"OH MY GROUDON! BISON'S GOING TO HURT CHAOS!" She shrieked (startling both her friend and Chocobo) before leaping to her feet and running towards the arena with the Emerald.

"Is it just me…or is she getting more and more insane with every Emerald we collect…?" Kris muttered to no-one in particular before looking at Choco. There was a silence between the two.

"Wark,"

"…"

Then they ran after Mona leaving a dust trail.

* * *

"Its time I end this!" Sephiroth raise Vega's body above his head.

"NONONONONO! Anything but that! PLEASE NOOO!" Vega begged as he was thrown into the bleachers full of screaming fans. Vega landed on the hard chairs "Ouch…" But then screamed again as squealing fan-girls leaped on top of him, Vega disappeared in a pile of females and some males (Vega: shrieking:).

"Oh man, what a way to go!" said the announcer as the pile of mostly girls on top of Vega increased. "And Sephiroth wins!"

"Even by my standards that's cruel and unusual…" mumbled Bison as both he and Chaos-1 stopped to stare.

"_At least you didn't stick small animals inside robots…_" Chaos-1 muttered.

"Chaos!" Mona yelled as she leaped onto the platform to 'save' her water monster causing everyone to stare at the blue glow in her hands. **SPLASH!** She landed on the said monster. "Oops…"

After regaining his form and shook himself from his daze he took the Chaos emerald from her hand, "I'll take that."

"HEY! THAT'S THE PRIZE EMERALD FOR THIS EVENT!" The announcer cried out.

"Give me that!" Bison roared, grabbing at the emerald which immediately was slapped into Chaos-1 by Mona. A bright FLASH blinded everyone before Chaos-1 was replaced by Chaos-2, a much more muscular and powerful version. "No matter, I shall take it just the same!"

Bison aimed a punch into the water monster only to have his fist smack into a barrier that made him stumble back and clutch his wrist for Bison's hand had become numb from the force inflicted.

"_Now THIS is more like it!_" Chaos-2 warbled before a more solid fist slammed into Bison, sending him colliding into a wall outside the arena just as Kris and Choco ran towards the platform.

"Sephie! You won!" Kris leaped lovingly at her favorite bishie.

"AUGH!" Sephiroth tried to escape the bone-crushing-love-hug. "My ribs… my lungs…!"

"My Love!" Kris squealed causing Chaos-2 to develop a flat-face.

"Wark-Wark! (My Mommy!)" Choco landed in his 'mommy's' arms.

Back at the growing pile on Vega (who was screaming for them to get away and that he'll sue)…

"I've got a lock of his hair!" yelled fangirl #1

"I got a shoe!" squealed fangirl #23

"I have his boxers!" cried fan boy #50

"AAAIII! I touched him!" Swoons fangirl #125

Back with our heroes…

"Guys, do you hear that rumbling noise?" Mona asked.

Kris listened, still clinging to Sephiroth, who was trying to pry her off with his sword like a crowbar, "Well it's not my stomach,"

The rumbling got louder and louder…

"_Uh-oh_," Chaos-2 warbled, "_We got trouble_,"

"What? Is it Bison?" Mona looked around, hugging her Chocobo tightly,

"_Worse, look_!" He pointed to a huge crowd that was gaining speed towards them.

"Sephiroth! Chaos! WE LOVE YOU!" the crowd of girls (and some boys) stampeded towards them, all foaming at the mouth.

"RABID FANGIRLS!" yelled the heroes. ("And fanboys!" yelled the often ignored fanboys).

"LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!" Kris screamed before the heroes made a frantic dash towards the exit, somehow snatching up the prize money as they did so.

"Good riddance…" Bison grumbled before getting run over like many of the unfortunate contestants who accidentally got in the mob's way.

* * *

Outside, Knuckles had finally tracked down the five intruders. He stood outside the entrance, which was void of the registration desk, and pounded one gloved fist into the other. 

"Alright…once I get my hands on those guys…I am going to…"

Before he could finish his sentence, the door burst open and…

"**RUN**! RUN FOR OUR LIVES!" The brunette shrieked, clutching onto Choco as she stamped on Knuckles' face, knocking him onto the ground.

"OW!"

"DON'T TOUCH ME OR MY SEPHIE!" Kris cried out with anime frantic-tears flowing from her eyes, pulling a seemingly weightless Sephiroth behind her and stamping on the echidna's torso.

"OOF!"

"**_WAIT_**! _DON'T LEAVE ME BEHIND!_" Chaos-2 gargled and its large watery foot unorthodoxly rammed into the place-where-the-sun-don't-shine.

"**WOOO!**"

Then there came the mob…

"**_GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_**"

Need we say more? Well…this is a PG rated fanfic…so in layman's terms let's say he didn't get _killed_. He just got reallypainful injuries…and the legal papers (from chapter 7) were still in effect…

* * *

At least a few hours after running and finally losing the mob of rabid fangirls/boys, the heroes were on a path towards some other random city/town/whatever. Mona and Choco were riding on Chaos-2, as though he was slightly-imitating Big the Cat during that Sonic Heroes game, while Sephiroth was walking next to Kris.

"I really-really hope we don't have to go through that again…" Kris sighed.

"Yeah, now I fear the thought of being a celebrity…" Mona replied. "…and now I know why actors are in incognito when they go outside…"

"Point…" Everyone else said in usion.

"_So…where do we go next_?" Chaos-2 warbled. "_We certainly can't head back to that town…what's it called…?_"

"Colusseum Town…?" Kris replied as she stared at a sign they passed. "And it also said…entering Forest of the Undead…"

"Forest of the Undead…?" Mona went pale. "Uh, can we take a detour or…or something!"

"Why should we? If a zombie shows up we can just slash its head off." Sephiroth responded.

"We can't…" Kris replied. "The fanfic is PG rated…"

"So…?"

"NO. GORE!" Both girls chorused.

"…great…"

"Ah, but there is one thing we can do to get this forest out of our way…" Mona grinned.

"Really? What is it?" Kris asked a bit confused about her friend's logic.

"_Sephiroth is going to kill me for this but…_" The brunette slid off Chaos-2's shoulder, leaving Choco there. Momentarily she had walked up to the silver-haired Bishounen and cleared her throat…

"Have you said the three word phrase to Kris yet?"

Sephiroth…well he got ticked…of course that's what the brunette was afraid of…even though her plan was working…

"**DECEND HEARTLESS ANGEL!"**

"**HOLY CRAAAAAAAAP!**"

Mona ran from Sephiroth who was screaming censored-out curse words and firing that supercharged attack which cleared out the Forest of the Undead in one hit. Well…let's say she got a complete workout after running from him and dodging the Masamune Sword slashes.

"I'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRY**_I'MSORRY!_**"

* * *

Meanwhile, Bison and Vega were sitting at a long table in a dark room. There were shafts of light so they could see each other although the other seats were blotted out. At the farthest end of the table, it was pitch black however the two villains could affirm the presence of the evil resonance. 

"You two…are…IDIOTS!" The figure rammed its fist onto the table, which resulted in both Vega and Bison shaking. "Bison, I expected your Psycho power to be able to overcome those two humans and those two ex-villains! Vega, I strictly told you what would happen if you so much as push Sephiroth over the brink!"

"Sorry sir…" They both muttered in usion.

"You're both lucky. If I destroy you both there would be no more villains for me to benefit from. Now, both of you leave until I send for you…"

Both villains got up from their seats, nodded, and walked out the room leaving the more evil figure sitting by itself.

"…now that that's settled…" The figure murmured before switching his chair around so it was facing away from the table and picked up a remote. "…no…ah…hmm…AH-HA!"

…okay…being honest towards the audience…what kind of villain would listen to…

"IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!"

…Siiigh…

**TBC…

* * *

**Imperfection07: I swear I have that stupid song stuck in my head…if I hear it **one more time**…

Sonic: (Walks in singing) IT'S PEANUTBUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!

Imperfection07: (goes rigid) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…

Please Review on this Chapter!


	9. Ayame's Costume Shop

**Final Fanatic  
**

* * *

Chapter 9: Ayame's Costume Shop 

Our heroes have been traveling through the Forest of the Undead, which had been cleared out thanks to Mona and Sephiroth. Mona now sported a giant Band-Aid on her head (with Choco trying to comfort her) and Sephiroth was still fuming with little angry-anime-veins floating above his head.

Kris, who was now walking beside Chaos-2, kept looking around cautiously. She hated the undead (except vampires, they were cool) they were rotten, smelly, and they moaned a lot.

"Oohhh aaaahh…" something moaned as it crawled out of the bushes next to Kris.

"AAAAHHHHH! Undead!" she grabbed Sephiroth's Masamune Sword and started bashing the thing with the blunt side of the sword. "DIE! DIE! DIE!"

"_Now that's an oxymoron…"_ Chaos-2 sweat-dropped.

"How come everyone enjoys stealing my sword?" Sephiroth grumbled as he face-palmed himself.

"Uh Kris… Kris...? KRIS!" Mona tried to get her friends attention.

"Huh?" Kris momentarily stopped her bashing.

"That's not an undead… it's a drunk," Mona pointed.

Kris looked down at the thing on the ground. It was in fact a drunk, not an undead. "Woopsies… Sorry!"

"Oohhh ahhhh…." The drunk moaned, now having the worst hangover of his life.

As they continued through the forest they stopped by a sign that pointed down the left road, reading: Ayame's Costume Shop: For All Your Cosplay and RPG Needs!

"Wow…this is…interesting…since when was Fruits Basket in a video game? I thought it was an anime!" Mona turned to her traveling companions. "Shall we go in?"

"Well…it couldn't hurt to look…" Kris replied before they walked in. There were some people there but they were standing motionless in front of the clothes. A bit confused, and wanting to experiment on the citizens to see if they would react like any RPG person, Mona walked towards what seemed to be a young girl.

"Um, excuse me…do you know about the Chaos Emeralds?"

"Aww, I hate clothes shopping!" The 8-bit girl whined. Mona stared.

"That's a bit irrelevant to the question, don't you think…?"

"Aww, I hate clothes shopping!" The girl whined.

"…" Mona paused before speaking up. "You know, it's quite odd that you seem to be saying the same thing over and over again. Don't you think it's because you have a lack of vocabulary and because the creators of this game were too lazy to add additional phrases to your head?"

"Aww, I hate clothes shopping!" The girl (yes, again) whined before Mona face-palmed herself.

"Argh…I knew it…"

"I know…my daughter whines all the time…" The mother groaned.

"You can say that again…" Mona commented.

"I know…my daughter whines all the time…" The mother groaned before Mona slowly backed away with a nervous expression plastered on her face.

"Wow! Lookit all the phat outfits!" Kris squealed.

"Phat…?" Sephiroth sweat dropped.

"I'm so going to try these on!" Kris picked up an armful of outfits and dashed for the changing room, knocking aside several of the non-playable-characters.

"What was that about?" Mona wondered while in the background Choco pecked at a feathered hat that looked like him.

Then out of nowhere, a man with long silver hair and a red outfit burst through the employee entrance door with a dramatic flare. "My goodness, new customers!"

"_Huh_?" Chaos-2 looked between Sephiroth and the new man (only his head could fit through the door since he's now too big). "_Mona, you see what I see_?"

"Yeah, a guy in dire need of a haircut," said Mona as she tried to pry Choco away from the feathered hat that he became emotionally attached to (pink hearts floated above the black bird's head).

"_I'm seeing double: two Sephiroths_!" Chaos said after turning into a puddle and reforming so he was inside.

"What!" Sephiroth got angry. "I look nothing like him!"

"I totally agree," the man flipped his long hair over his shoulder. "I'm so much more handsome."

"WHAT?" Sephiroth was even angrier, "Who do you think you are!"

"I..." the man struck a dramatic pose, flowery backdrop and sparkles and all, "am Ayame Sohma! The handsomest and most charming of the Sohma family! And I own this store."

"Oh GAWD MY EYES!" Mona grabbed a few random outfits during her blind dash (she got blinded by the sprinkles flying off Ayame) to the changing rooms and knocked over several of the non playable characters like dominos.

"I found the perfect outfit!" Kris yelled from the fitting room. She pranced out, wearing a skimpy warrior-princess outfit. Sephiroth blushed, and threw his cloak over her to cover her up.

"You get back in there and find a less revealing outfit!" said Sephiroth, blushing madly.

"Okay-okay!" Kris said, muffled under the cloak as Mona skulked out wearing a familiar outfit consisting of a dress and some pink. Her hair was in a familiar braid that had Sephiroth twitch like a madman.

"What the **_hell_**! How the **_crap_** did I get in this stinking Aerith (looks at Sephiroth) …outfit…?" Mona stared wide-eyed at Sephiroth. There seemed to be a horrid resemblance between the brunettes (despite the eye color and facial features) and Mona had just realized it when she saw the murderous expression shot directly at her.

"Y-Y-**_YOOOU_**!" The silver-haired bishounen roared, his face resembling an angry Gyarados', as Mona gained a stone-face.

"Ooh…"

"Odd…a blonde boy who had a huge sword went into a seizure when he saw another brunette wearing that…" Ayame commented.

"…**_SCHNEIDER_**!" (Yes, that's German for a certain "S" word we all use most of the time.) Mona panicked before diving back into the fitting room as Sephiroth drew his sword.

"DIE!" The bishounen flew after Mona…into the _girls fitting room_.

A gigantic amount of screams (some close to "**_PERVEEEEERT_**!") were heard along with pummeling noises before Sephiroth was thrown out and landed on his face.

"Ow…"

"_Honestly Sephiroth…you should know better than to run in a room meant for the opposite sex…how unbelievable…_" Chaos rolled its invisible white pupils which weren't seen under the glossy green color.

"Indeed…how unbelievable…" Ayame commented as he rested his chin on his hand.

"Oh shut up…" The soldier growled as Choco warbled in hysterics after a clothes hanger struck him square in the head.

"Wark-WAAARK! (_HA-HAAAA!_)"

"Sephie, you know it's not nice to try and kill people, it leaves a bad impression," Kris patted him on the head.

Sephiroth blushed, seeing she was still in the revealing warrior outfit. "I thought I told you to change!"

"I'm going!" Kris dashed into the changing room.

Ayame then waltzed over to Sephiroth as he got up. "My dear sir, I couldn't help but notice you have a marvelous body,"

"SAY WHA--!" Sephiroth was shocked.

Choco (with his new hat-friend) and Chaos-2 were on the floor laughing.

"Yes indeed, a man such as you would make an excellent model for my line of clothing," Ayame smiled.

"What line of clothing is that?" Sephiroth's eyes narrowed.

"MEN'S ROMANCE!" Ayame shouted in a theatrical fashion, with another flowery backdrop and glitter sparkles.

"_How in the world do you do that anyway_?" Chaos-2 wondered before falling back into hysterics

"Oh this should be good…" Mona sniggered with a wide grin on her face, sneaking out to snag a handful of outfits (she was wearing her original outfit) before darting back into the fitting room before Sephiroth could attack again. Of course…she had poked her head out and commented with a bold air: "Do you sell _birthday suits_?" before the Masamune Sword struck the wall next to her head. Mona let out a panicked yelp "_YIKES_!" before making herself scarce.

"You must be kidding me…" Sephiroth glowered as he tugged the sword out of the wall and sheathed it.

"_C'mon Sephiroth…it couldn't hurt…_" Chaos-2 commented before turning to Ayame. "_I think he'd change his mind if he actually got in one…_"

"Ohh no! Forget it!" The FF7 character retorted before he got shoved into the men's fitting room after Chaos-2 swatted him in there with one of his huge claws. "_YAAAAH_-"

_CRAAASH!_

"_Do your worst…_" Chaos-2 whispered to Ayame as Mona dashed out in a costume that resembled that of Kyo Sohma's, holding onto a folded article of clothing.

"Make him try this first. PLEASE Mr. Ayame Sohma?" She asked (trying to be polite than she was earlier despite that grin on her face), putting it in his hands, before darting a safe distance away. Ayame slightly unfolded it.

"I think your brunette friend had the idea you had in mind." Ayame commented before walking into the men's fitting room.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Sephiroth exclaimed.

"Just hold still," replied Ayame

"Hey-hey-wait-a-minute! I don't need help!" Sephiroth panicked.

"Ooh nice body," Ayame winked.

"HELP!" Sephiroth yelled from the dressing room. "GET THAT **_THING_** AWAY FROM ME!"

Meanwhile outside of the fitting rooms, Mona, Choco, and Chaos-2 were laughing their asses off. Kris scampered out of the women's fitting room wearing a blue sifuku (Japanese school uniform) with a pink bow in front. "What'd I miss?"

"Oh just _Sephie-kins_ getting the humiliation of a lifetime." Mona joked before looking at her friend. "Oh, nice outfit…"

Ayame then walked out of the men's fitting room with a smile. "May I present … my masterpiece…!"

"I'm not coming out!" Sephiroth yelled from the dressing room.

Ayame casually walked back into the men's fitting room then booted Sephiroth out of the room.

"OW!" Sephie flew out. He got up and looked at himself. He was indeed, wearing a yellow frilly dress, the kind that a five-year-old would be embarrassed to wear. He looked up and noticed his companions with puffed up red cheeks as they attempted not to laugh in front of him. "If you laugh…"

(SOUNDS OF BALLOONS DEFLATING ALONG WITH SNIGGERING)

Needless to say, Sephiroth's threat went unheard and everyone fell onto the ground, doubling over in laughter.

"Oh-oh my gawd, he-he-he looks…he looks-WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!" Mona pounded at the ground, wheezed, and then resumed laughing in hysterics.

"_Sephiroth…_" Chaos-2 attempted to speak up although chuckling.

"What is it?" The silver-haired bishounen glared at him with his mako green eyes.

"_That's…that's a-ha-ha-ha good look for you…ha-ha-ha!_" Then he fell into a rippling energy puddle of hysterics.

"Kris!" Sephiroth glanced over at Kris who was in a ball of hysterics and laughing. He didn't find much help there.

"That-that was…haw-haw-he-he-he…the evilest…-air intake-…thing you did!" Kris said to Mona between laughs. Sephiroth immediately drew his sword again and Mona's laughter was reduced to whimpering before she ran into the safety of the women's fitting room. Sephiroth, apparently not learnt his lesson, ran in as well.

"DIIIIEEE-ah… Oh not again…"

"**_EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MAN-IN-A-DRESS! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET HIM OUT! PERRVERRRT! HENTAIIIII!_**" All the girls screamed at once.

"Now ladies…this can be exp-PUT THAT DOWN! **AAAAAAAH**! **_NOT THE FACE_**!"

Several loud and painful noises were heard before Sephiroth (still in a dress) bolted out as several things were thrown at him ranging from Materia, Pokeballs, Rocks, Radishes (courtesy of Princess Peach), Crystal Stars, Eggs, Shoes, Coat-Hangers, a few sharp knives, kunai, shuriken, scrolls, laser blasts (from Samus Aran), a Chocobo (how'd that get in there?), and finally a bomb-omb.

_**KROOOOM!**_

Well…the shop was alright but Sephiroth was another story. The bishounen was flattened against the wall on the men's side and he was covered in scorch-marks.

"Hey guys, the outfits come with their own accessories!" Mona shouted as she jumped out in a very-familiar costume, which was from the Pokemon anime, and struck a pose after pulling out a red and white ball. "**I'm gonna be a Pokemon Master!**"

"Uh…" Everyone (except Sephiroth who was currently unconscious) stared.

"I'm getting this!" The brunette grinned before running into the fitting room.

"**_PER-_**!" The female characters screeched.

"HEY! I'M A _GIRL_!" Mona took off the red, white, and green hat and let her mid-back length hair drop. "SEE!"

"Oh…false alarm girls! Put down those weapons of mass destruction." Samus put her gun away.

"Why do you have those anyway?" Mona asked as she went back into her room.

"We're going to make sure the game companies give us proper attacks in future games AND be sure to stop making us LOVE INTRESTS!" A VERY-Familiar White Mage replied. "Some just want to be loners and not be watched! (Darn that Black Mage…)"

"Oh…eh…I'd rather not be caught up in those things…good luck!" Mona dashed back out in her original outfit and the Ash Ketchum uniform. "_They're mad…MAD!_"

"Oh my poor bishie!" Kris whimpered as she embraced the scorched Sephiroth.

"OW-OW-OW-OW!" Sephiroth whimpered, in pain from burns.

Then Ayame waltzed over Kris, calculator in hand, "Lets see, your outfits plus taxes, tariffs, shipping and handling, required assembly, batteries included and surcharges, your total is…" he keyed it in and showed Kris.

Upon seeing the number, her eyes bugged out, her jaw dropped, and turned white. "Um, you know, Mona is the one that handles expenses." She picked up Sephiroth, who was dazed and still donned a yellow dress, "See ya!" She dashed out the door (right through Chaos), carrying the new outfits with her.

**SPLASH! **

"Traitor!" Mona yelled. A few dozen pock-marks formed on her head before she glanced at Ayame. "How much is that in…"

* * *

"RINGS! HOW THE CRAP DID YOU GET YOUR HANDS ON **1 MILLION** RINGS!" Sephiroth yelled once he was back in his normal outfit. 

"Well…when you ditched me, Choco, and Chaos-2; I had gotten Chaos here to activate Chaos Control (or Chaos Bind) and we swiped several from a bunch of Sonic the Hedgehog-Sprite-Edits (thanks to the one-ring rule that's mandatory in the games)! Thus our currency supply is fine!" Mona replied. "Plus we have several left over in about oh…1,700 Gil…added up with the 200,000 Gil prize is: 201,700 Gil…"

"How cunning of you…" Sephiroth replied, a bit impressed, but swearing he would slash her apart for the dress joke.

"_I dare not mention what else she did…_" Chaos-2 face-palmed itself as it recalled the events.

"What do you mean…?" Kris asked.

"_Um, you just ruined a perfect transition…_"

"Oops…carry on then…"

* * *

_"Mona, what are you doing!" Chaos-2 almost shrieked when it noticed the teenager placing thousands upon thousands of dynamite (which she _stole_ from a Hyrule based store) next to a frozen and inactivated Omochao. Choco had a confused expression on its face while it still had the Chocobo hat on._

_"Getting revenge for when we first met…" Mona replied with a sadistic grin before lighting the last fuse and bolting for safety with Choco. Chaos-2 stored the last of the 1 million rings into its storage before bolting after them as the time-halt came to a stop._

_"Hello…I'm Omochao, I'm here to-_

_**GIGANTIC EXPLOSION!  
**_

* * *

"**_HEEEELLLLLP…!_**" The robotic Chao screamed as it jetted into the atmosphere (leaving a small light and a _TING_) after Chaos-2 had face-palmed itself. 

Kris smiled "Well, now that we have new outfits and our money problems are solved, we can now… uh… now what can we do?" Suddenly there was a loud growl.

**GROOWL!**

Everyone except Kris got into battle position at the cat-like snarl. "What in the world was that!" Sephiroth drew his sword and looked around.

"Oh, that was my stomach," Kris said, causing everyone else to anime faint. Then she fell over and curled up and wailed, "WAAHH! I'm hungry! Need food!"

"Oh, you're always hungry!" Sephiroth sighed. "Maybe we can have some roast chicken." He eyed Choco and imagined him on a grill with marinade before Mona shot him a fiery glare that seemed to match that of an evil beast and was enough for the Jenova clone to hear the infamous and deafening roar of Godzilla echoing in the background. Sephiroth blanched and became whiter than his silver tresses while Chaos sank into a frightened puddle.

"_Or_ we could scour for forest mushrooms and berries." The bishounen corrected himself as he tried not to imagine what monstrosity was using a façade to appear like a young teenage girl.

"**_Good_**!" The brunette then went on hugging the petrified Chocobo in a protective manner, glaring at Sephiroth from the side of her eye before crooning gently towards her 'baby'. "The evil-nasty-man wasn't looking at you like a roast chicken, my little Choco…oh-no-no-no…"

"W-waaark…" Choco shuddered.

Kris faced the audience with half-lidded eye-lids. "Am I the only one who notices she's got an evil side resembling or possibly being ten-times worse than Haru Sohma's?"

Chaos-2's eyes narrowed as he faced the audience as well. "If I knew who this 'Haru Sohma' is, I'd agree…"

* * *

Meanwhile, a purple weasel-like character was standing at the end of the long table. At the other end was the same figure sitting down in his giant chair. Next to his right was a dark figure that was leaning against the wall and giving off a dangerous and mysterious aura. His eyes continued gazing heartlessly at the weasel. Another figure, which was on the left, had bright and robotic eyes while a dark cloak draped over his shoulders. 

The weasel adjusted his hat slightly. "So…let me get dis straight. Ya want me help you get rid of a group consisting of three humans (one being Jenova based), a Chaos Creature, and a Chocobo?"

"Indeed." The _Deep Voice_ replied. "I will pay you _handsomely_ in return."

"How much…?" The weasel inquired, tugging on the end of one of his dark-tanned gloves. He got his answer when Deep Voice gripped a lever with one of his white gloved hands and gave it a sharp and powerful tug. Abruptly a giant bag of gold fell on top of the purple weasel, possibly flattening him.

The bounty hunter squirmed out from underneath the giant bag and turned towards it, eyeing it with wide and greedy black eyes.

"This is _half_ of what I'm giving you…you get the rest once the job is done but if you don't the consequences will be dire." _Deep Voice_ explained as the weasel salivated. "I'll hold it here so it'll be safe. Fine with you?"

"Yep dat's fine…" Fang the Sniper (aka Nack the Weasel) grinned. "So…where should I search?"

To Be Continued…

* * *

Imperfection07: After an entire summer that involved me going on vacation/helping around the house/getting back to school (getting sick and currently recovering) and QotSF at work/college, we finally got this chapter done and we are currently progressing with the next one. In case you're wondering why I'm being **Ten Times** formal here, it's because I'm worried about going too far with the humor in the commentaries (an example being in **_DS2_** when I did something to Mona and Hiro –shudders- which I'm going to **_fix_**) and I'm just going to give out information about the chapters in case there's confusion. 

For instance: _Deep Voice _isn't the real name for the mystery villain. We're going to replace it with something but not saying what… The two 'bodyguards' (which are on our lists of favorite characters) are a secret and they'll have a purpose in the future chapters. Not saying what since it'll ruin the humor of the story. With that said and done, I'm **gone**…

(Returns)

….and please review…it's really-**really** dull and boring without hearing creative criticism and how much the story was enjoyed so far…except flaming…that we can do without…

(Leaves again)

(Loud sneeze sounds off in background)


	10. Nack's Bad Fur Day

Chapter 10 – Nack's Bad Fur Day

It was at least a day after and it was quite obvious the only food they could find were crab-apples…which aren't digestible and literally had pincers (Chaos-2: "_What's this? Alice in Wonderland_?!"). Plus Sephiroth had suggested _Chocobo Ribs_ and _almost_ got beaten to an inch of his life by Mona (who somehow stole his Masamune Sword without him realizing it) (Mona: "_**DEEEEAAAAATTTHHHH**_!!!!!")… Anyways, the team of five was walking in a random direction when…

"I'm dying!" Kris moaned.

"No you're not." Sephiroth muttered.

"I'm wasting away!" Kris groaned. Then suddenly a scent caught her nose, "Hey that smell… I recognize it… it's…it's… CHOCOLATE!" and in a flash (that would've made any speedy game character jealous) Kris zipped far ahead of the group.

"Hey Kris! Wait up!" Mona yelled as she ran after her friend and Sephiroth, Chaos, and Choco followed.

"CHOCOLATE-CHOCOLATE-CHOCOLATE-CHOCOLATE-CHOCOLATE-CHOCOLATE-CHOCOLATE!" Kris ranted as she ran like a deranged Dodrio. She stopped when she crashed into a sign and slid down painfully… "Ouchie…"

When Mona and the others gathered Kris up, they looked around.

"Where the heck are we?" Mona asked.

"Wark…?"

The place was cartoony looking. From what the group could see there was a sign in front of them that pointed in two directions, one said NICE and the other NASTY. In the direction of NICE there was a giant beehive with a friendly-looking giant Queen Bee and beyond that was a few mountains a windmill. In the direction of NASTY there was what looked like an army blockade built into a mountain, and a giant wasp's nest.

"_This place is REALLY-REALLY weird_," said Chaos.

"I remember now!" Kris suddenly sprang up from her state of unconsciousness. "This has to be the Windy stage of Conker's Bad Fur Day!"

"Why is it called Windy?" Sephiroth asked.

"For the Windmill," Kris replied.

"Then why did you smell chocolate?" Mona asked with half-lidded eyes.

"For THAT!" Kris drooled, pointing in the direction of a floating bar of chocolate. "Antigravity Chocolate!" Kris leaped at the hovering candy, not knowing it was a trap…

* * *

In the bushes, Nack the Weasel watched with glee as the blonde darted towards the trap he had set up. 

"This is too easy…" The weasel grinned as he pressed a button on his remote…

Click…

* * *

Kris' hands grappled the Anti-Gravity chocolate and she pulled it down. "CHOCOLATEIT'SMINEYEEEAAAAH!!" And she was pulled away by an irritated Sephiroth. 

"Next time **don't** listen to your stomach…" The Jenova clone grumbled as he pulled Kris (who was eating the bar) back towards the group.

* * *

Nack stared goggle eyed with his jaw hanging loose. 

"WHAT THE HELL?!" He pressed the button again…and again…56 times…and an umpteenth number of times "CRAP! DARNIT! FRIG! RATFRATZZING!! (CENSORED)!"

* * *

No sooner had Kris been dragged back, Mona stood over her friend with a sarcastic expression as she saw the remnants of the chocolate disappear down her friend's throat. "I don't suppose you were going to share any with us…?" 

"You could've said so earlier…" Kris grinned, showing off her darkened teeth from the chocolate before spotting a machine sticking out from behind her friend. It had a book like feature to it that seemed a mockery of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" only it had a good and solid copyright on it and the words: "DON'T RUN SCREAMING LIKE AN IDIOT" in giant letters. "What's that?"

And she grabbed it…

Mona let out a yell as it was pried out and grabbed her rear. "_**YEOWCH**_, MY HAMMERSPACE!!!"

The Guide promptly droned out: _Hammerspace is a fan-envisioned, extra dimensional, instantly accessible storage area. It is also referred to as a back pocket. The concept is jokingly used to explain how characters in any given situation are capable of producing objects out of thin air._ _A typical example would involve a male character offending or angering a female character who would proceed to produce, apparently out of thin air, an oversized wooden mallet and hit her offender on the head with it in an obviously exaggerated manner_.

"The definition from useful…" Kris murmured as she closed the book and handed it back to her friend who was half-bouncing about from the pain. As this was occurring, Nack had charged towards the trap and was bouncing up and down on it in a fury and shouting words that not even a biologist/scientist/mechanic/etc would've heard in his/her lifetime.

"I don't suppose you _STOLE_ it from one of those "Sonic Recolors" that you pried all those rings from…?" Sephiroth asked.

"Eh…I did…but it is a good guide for whatever happens next…" Mona sweat dropped as she forced the guide back into her Hammerspace just as the trap door underneath Nack opened and he stayed in mid air for a moment (with a rather nervous expression) before falling in.

"**EEEEEEEEYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA**_**AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHH…!**_"

_**SPLASH!**_

Everyone suddenly turned their heads towards the hole in the ground which Nack sprang from with a giant shark (that had an uncanny resemblance to Jaws) which had sunk its teeth into his tail. As soon as the weasel finished his scream of pain, he was tugged back in and the trap snapped shut.

"……the heck was that…?" Kris asked after a long silence.

* * *

"_Okay, which way should we go?" _Chaos said as he looked at the direction signs. 

"Isn't it obvious?" said Sephiroth. "We go down NICE,"

"Not really," said Kris.

"Why not?" said Mona, petting Choco who was looking at the little happy yellow flowers.

"Well, actually we could, we'd just have to watch for the giant dung beetles and be careful that we don't fall into the lair of the Great and Mighty Poo."

"The Great and Mighty Poo?" Sephiroth raised a brow.

"Don't ask," Kris shuddered as Mona opened the "Gamer's guide to the Ultimate Gamer game" (Gah, that's repetitive) and looked up "The Great and Mighty Poo". Of course, it would've been better if she hadn't read the lyrics to his "Theme Song" since she suddenly threw the automatic book at Chaos and dove behind a bush.

(_**INSERT RETCHING NOISE HERE**_)

"_Then lets go down NASTY_," said Chaos before picking up the book, taking care not to short circuit it since he was composed of _aqua_-water-etc.

"Not good either," Kris replied. "That way has the giant wasps and an army blockade where a squirrel general will try to recruit us for the French Squirrel – Teddiez war. I hate Teddiez!"

"_What's wrong with teddies? They don't sound too bad_," Chaos mused.

"These Teddiez wield samurai swords, machine guns, and nuclear bazookas." Kris stated simply.

"_Oh, never mind…_" Chaos muttered.

* * *

Nack stumbled back into his hiding place coated with scars and other big injuries. Well, the weasel had turned several darker shades of purple…anyway he sat back down behind the bushes and began nursing his injuries. 

"Con-fussing, stupid trap door. I'll bet the ghost of Wile E. Coyote is laughing at me…" Nack grumbled before noticing a trap he missed. A grin formed on his face. "Then again…I'll have the last laugh…and a ton of dough to go with it…MUAHAHAHAHAHA!"

And his trademark tooth fell from his gums and clattered onto the ground while he was in mid-laugh. Well, why do you think SEGA called him "_Fang__ the Sniper_" in the first place?

"Aw poor the fake of…! Stoophid palse poof!"

* * *

_Several milliseconds pass while Nack gets his false teeth to fit back on…_

Nack: "HEY! I'm not THAT OLD!"

_Sure he isn't…

* * *

_

"Once they head towards NICE, my trap will be sprung and those idiots will be swimming in The Great and Mighty Poo's sludge before I snag them and the Chaos Emeralds. And then after-that I will collect my money and head straight to Hawaii where I'll meet up with several beautiful ladies and…and…" Nack stared wide-eyed at the fanfic camera (which has been known to destroy the 4th Wall without anyone realizing it). "HEY! GET ON WITH THE FANFIC ALREADY! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!"

* * *

"Then what can we do?!" asked Mona as she walked back from the bush, a bit woozy (and possibly scarred for life) but stable. Then she noticed Choco pecking at a circle with a B in the middle drawn on the ground. "What in the heck is that thing?" 

"Cool! A context-sensitive pad!" Kris looked at it.

"What's a context-sensitive pad?" The brunette asked.

"It's a pad…that's…uh… sensitive to context!" said Kris, proud of her explanation. Everyone else only gave her half-lidded eye expressions. "All I have to do is jump on it and it will help us… I hope…" and Kris jumped on it.

(Head towards NICE) It droned out before Kris jumped off to the side.

"Well…that was easy…" Sephiroth commented before heading in the exact direction as a loud noise similar to a rushing of air became heard. "_Nani_…?" The bishounen glanced up and his pupils shrank as he spotted a massive anvil falling towards him.

"SEPHIE!!!" Kris shrieked and dashed towards the panic stricken Sephiroth.

"Oh crud I can't watch…!" Mona shielded her and Choco's eyes as the anvil dropped.

_**FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII—**_

(Awkward silence)

"…" Mona kept her hand over her eyes before she finally uttered: "Where's the ker-_**smash**_? Usually when an anvil that size falls there's a bone-crunching KER-_**SMASH**_!"

(In a Peter Pan scenario: "No KER-_**SMASH**_ Cap'n!")

Chaos-2 stared before tapping on Mona's shoulder. "Uhh…"

"What?" Mona removed her hands and stared straight ahead towards the scene. Sephiroth was staring wide-eyed at the 10 meter Anvil which had halted directly an inch from his face as Kris had both palms outstretched and a bit of a whitish glow was around the anvil; most likely from the anti-gravity chocolate she digested earlier. Kris clenched her teeth then _threw_ the anvil in another direction. The blonde went silent and stared at her hands.

"Wow…did…did I just do that…?"

"That was awesome Kris!" Mona shouted from a far distance with Choco and Chaos gawking at the scene.

"SQUEE! I JUST SAVED SEPHIE!!" Kris shrieked, breaking out of her stunned mood and glomping the silver-haired bishounen. "I SAVED SEPHIROTH!!! I SAVED SEPHIROTH!!!"

"Don't get used to it…" Sephiroth grumbled. "_Saved by a woman…how embarrassing…_"

* * *

As Nack was planning for his future escapade to Hawaii he didn't particularly notice the giant 10 foot anvil flying directly at him until the last second. "OH MY GAH—" 

KER_**-SMASH!!!!

* * *

(ah...THERE's the Ker-Smash!**_

)

* * *

For the next hour Kris continued to sing and hang on to Sephiroth. "I SAVED SEPHIROTH I SAVED SEPHIROTH I SAVED SEPHIROTH I SAVED SEPHIROTH!" 

"SHUT UP!" Sephiroth tried to pry the girl off of him. Kris abruptly stopped singing and slowly turned her head towards Sephiroth. The silver-haired bishounen's eyes widened when he saw her eyes watering and getting pretty close to releasing full blown tears. "No…wait…I didn't…stop…I'm sorry okay! I didn't mean to…"

"Kris! We're there!" Mona pointed out. Only one tear managed to escape Kris's eyes before she switched into her happier mood and ran forwards until she was next to her friend. "So…where do we go now? I never played this game before…"

"Easy! We go in, endure an incredibly smelly and easy-to-navigate cave, fight the Great and Mighty Poo by throwing toilet-paper into his face, and continue on our neverending journey to find the 7 Chaos Emeralds that will get us out of this video game!" Kris pointed to the cave which had a very disgusting reek to it.

"_Does that include our noses being annihilated by that foul odor_?" Chaos asked with half-lidded eyes.

"You don't have a nose…" Sephiroth commented with half-lidded eyes.

"_Figuratively speaking_…" The water-monster replied with an equally cynical tone.

"Wark-_**wark**_…!" Choco squawked from the smell and tried to tuck its head under its wing.

Kris bravely strutted forward "Okay let's go—AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIII!!" and suddenly disappeared.

"Kris!" Mona and Chaos-2 yelled.

"Wark!"

"Where'd she go?!" Mona looked around anxiously.

"She's gone?" Sephiroth asked happily, only to receive a death-glare from Mona, "I mean 'Oh no, how horrible'."

"_Glitch!_" Chaos exclaimed.

"I beg your pardon?" Sephiroth narrowed his eyes at the water monster.

"_No, look, a glitch!_" Chaos pointed to a pixel shaded white hole in the ground. "_She probably fell through_,"

"Of course!" Mona realized. "This is still a beta game, so it's probably still has errors and bugs. We have to get her out of there!" Mona was about to jump in but Chaos grabbed her.

"_Wait! You can't just jump into a glitch, who knows what it does._" Chaos said.

"What do you mean by that?" Sephiroth asked.

"_It could lead to another part of the game, or to another world, or it could have even deleted her._"

"What?!" Mona and Sephiroth exclaimed.

Abruptly, a faint squelching sounded off along with a groan of: "I'm okay…! It's just a bit smelly down here!"

"Well…at least she didn't get deleted…" Sephiroth grumbled.

"Well-well Sephie-kins…you really do care!" Mona grinned but wiped the expression off her face when the Jenova Project mouthed: "_Descend Heartless Angel_".

While this was going on, a giant sludge-hand stretched out behind them grabbed Choco, pulling the bird into the cave. "WARK!"

"Choco?" Mona looked and saw her Chocobo was gone. "AH! Choco! Not you too!"

"WARKY-WARK-WARK…!" Choco's panicked cawing echoed from the depths of the stinky cave.

"Oh no! What do we do now?!" Mona yelped.

"They're as good as dead," Sephiroth muttered.

"Wha,"

"Nobody human, beast, cybernetic, or nonliving can stand that smell. Your friend and that Chocobo are goners…"

"Sephiroth," Mona sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. Both her eyes were clamped shut as to prevent a headache. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were going to leave them down there to die from the fumes…"

"Well…you guessed—AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOW!" The silver haired bishounen's sword somehow found its way into his foot before Mona rammed into his back like one of the Green Bay Packers or any other member of a famed football team. "Wha-wha-wait-what are you doing…!" Sephiroth yelled as he spun his arms to regain balance.

"**GET IN THERE YOU STUPID **_**SILVER-HAIRED PANZY**_…!" The brunette roared, knocking both herself and Sephiroth into the glitch, leaving Chaos-2 in the clearing.

"……" The Chaos-Monster grumbled and glanced towards what seemed to be a staircase marked: "Back Door". The greenish orbs became half-lidded and the bluish mass lifted upwards for a few seconds before letting out a sigh. "_Humans…_"

* * *

Nack could hardly believe his luck as he 'waltzed' down the long and winding stairs. The purple weasel had a gas mask on to protect himself from the fumes and his eyelids resembled an upside down "u" in happiness at his work. 

"WAHAHAHAHAHA…! Oh man! I can't believe my luck! I actually got those four idiots!" Nack chortled as he spun his dart gun on his finger. "The Great and Mighty Poo will dispose of those two users for me and I will get my billion ring reward! WAHAHAHAHAHA…!"

_(Yeah…Whahahahahaha…moron…)_

"Hey!"

* * *

Elsewhere… 

Sephiroth and Mona were lying in a heap on the ground, a bit similar to the event in Chapter 4 when they first met, but they were both covered in what appeared to be…well…poop. Well…Sephiroth had gotten the worst of it…

"Hey, you both alright…?" Kris asked, stumbling through the poop to her poo-covered friends.

"I feel like the floor of a Taxi Cab…" Mona replied as-a-matter-of-factly as Sephiroth laid face-down in the crap letting out what seemed to be a combination of a whimper, a groan, and something bubbly. The brunette winced as her shoes came in contact with the mush. "At least Sephiroth cushioned my fall…"

Sephiroth's head shot up and he inhaled the polluted air before croaking and spitting.

"_**Augh**_…!"

"SEPHI YOU CAME TO—oh…" Kris stopped short when she saw how he was coated in crap. "Maybe later…"

Sephiroth took a good look at his outfit and smirked. "_Kris repellant…very nice…but still smelly…_"

"Aw man! This was my favorite shirt!" Mona commented, pulling at the bottom corner of her Sonic the Hedgehog Tee. "And we have to find Choco before something with the word "poo" in its title eats him!"

"What? Choco was captured too?!" Kris exclaimed.

"Yeah…"

"Well THAT'S not good and…" The spectacled teen abruptly noticed something particularly odd and pointed at an empty space located conveniently next to her brunette friend. "Where's Chaos-2?"

"Uhh…I think he's still up there and—AAH!" Mona let out a panicked yelp when Chaos somehow appeared behind her and latched onto Sephiroth. Sephiroth glanced at her, to the audience, then back at Mona…and then he dropped her into the poop…further ruining her favorite half-sleeve shirt. "**EEEEYAAAAAAAARRRRRGHHHHH**…!"

"How the hell did you get here without being caked in poo?!" Sephiroth sputtered, regarding himself and the two girls. Mona was screaming of how she was going to do something unbearably horrible (and painful) to Sephiroth once she got out of the crap-filled-cave along with spewing several obscenities that Conker the Squirrel would never have uttered in his game career. Kris was just trying to smear the stuff off, not inhaling it, and trying to ignore the obscenities that her friend was uttering.

"I used the stairs…" Chaos-2 replied, still keeping on his half-lidded eyes. "I was trying to tell you before you both jumped into that glitch…"

"I did NOT jump in! **She** rammed into me like one of those Poke-e-thingies that knew the move Tackle!" Sephiroth retorted and pointed a finger at the brunette who had long-since pulled herself out of the poo.

"They're called **POKE_MON_** and you were going to leave them in there you over inflated egotistic bas—" Mona started.

"Aren't you forgetting something? Black, has feathers, small wings, a cute little orange beak, Wookie-woo?" Kris interrupted. There was a horrible silence as this was calculated faster than a loading screen in an Xbox 360 game.

"OH F—"

* * *

"—for Pete's sake!" Nack yelled, grabbing both sides of his fedora and yanking it down on his masked head in frustration. "You, Mr. "Great and Mighty POO", are amazingly-wonderfully-_**IDIOTIC**_! When I said capture the _heroes_, I did not mean for you to capture their _little-birdie-foo-foo_!" 

"I missed and the Chocobo was the closest to me and…did you mean to say "little-_bunny_-foo-foo"…?" The Great and Mighty Poo (let's just call him "Mr. Poo") commented as Choco let out panicked Wark and Wookie-wooing as the turd-boss kept a grip on him.

"I meant little-_**dummy**_-foo-foo!!" The weasel yelled.

"WOOKIE-WOO…!" Choco cawed.

"Stop rhyming already!" Nack yelled before settling down, even though he was still riled up. "Now look, those bumbling idiots are going to be running down here to save that blasted bird! I want you to make sure they are KOed once I get back and prepare to turn them in!"

"Aren't I getting half the reward?"

"I said you're getting 30 percent!"

"50!"

"30!"

"45!"

"Fine…deal!" Nack yelled before stamping (or possibly squelching) out of the room muttering something close to: "Stupid lump of dung…"

* * *

"Alright, now we have to summon Mr. Poo." said Kris. 

"Why do we _want_ to summon the destructive dung pile?" Sephiroth grumbled, trying to remain slightly dignified in this highly undignified environment.

"To save Choco from his smelly fate," Kris replied, "All we need is the proper bait."

"Nice rhyme…" Mona half-smiled since she was still fuming over her shirt.

Kris looked around, and then spotted what she was looking for. "You!"

"_Me?_" Chaos asked.

"No, the sweet corn hiding behind your legs." said Kris.

That being said, the little yellow corn kernel with big eyes darted off.

"After it!" Kris yelled and darted after it.

Mona and Chaos followed Kris, chasing the screaming kernel around the crap cave. Sephiroth stayed where he was. He wasn't going to lower himself as to pursue a vegetable. He watched as the two humans and water monster-demon-thing-whatever-it-was chase the sweet corn all around the place, even along the ceiling and defying the laws of gravity.

"I need this!" Kris said she ran passed Sephiroth, taking his Masamune sword with her.

"HEY! Why is everyone always stealing my sword?!" Sephiroth yelled and then he started chasing them. "Give it back!"

Now this continued for quite some time, and the other sweet corn in the cave decided to stop their aim-less wandering of the cave and sit and watch this spectacle. Kris then finally caught up to the vegetable and whacked it over its head with the blunt side of the Masamune, knocking it out. "Got it!" But as can be expected, the ever famous and effective domino effect resulted in another pile up of our heroes. Three of the sweet corn audience held up score cards: 10, 9.5, and Eat More Meat (okay, that last one was subliminal messaging).

After recovering (and being recovered in poo) Mona said sarcastically, "Well _that_ was fun, now what?"

"This!" Kris grabbed the unconscious corn and walked over to the giant hole in the middle of a cave. The cave seemed to be in the same state as the tunnels the four were running around in, and a huge amount of slop was under elevated bridges like a putrid smelly lake. Kris, somehow not even bothered by the stench, tossed the now wide awake sweet corn into the hole where it disappeared with a loud shriek.

"What'd you do that for?" Sephiroth asked.

"That's what you're supposed to do in the game," said Kris, "Now we wait for Mr. Poo to pop out, sing his song, and defeat him like the heroes we are!"

"Wait…he's going to _sing_?" Mona twitched as the lyrics to his censorship-killing tune spun around in her head.

* * *

Elsewhere, The Great and Mighty Poo and the captive Choco heard the distinctive squeaking of something tiny, and delicious to the pile of sludge. Choco and Mr. Poo looked down in time to catch sight of something yellow and had wide eyes atop its head. 

"Who dares to challenge me…?" Mr. Poo sang in his baritone voice before grabbing the sweet corn, which let out a shrill scream, and dove under the sludge taking both captives with it.

* * *

"Uh…Kris…?" The brunette shivered as something high-pitched caught her ears along with deep orchestra music. "What's going on?" 

"He's coming up!" Kris replied as the high-pitched warbling turned into loud shrieks ("_OHNONOPUTMEDOWNWAAAAHOHNONOOO_!") coming from the same sweet corn she threw in and panicked squawks from Choco. "And he smells a whole lot worse than the cave…"

"Disgusting…" Sephiroth shuddered as the giant lump of poo started forming from the crap infested 'lake'. Chaos-2 could only twitch as he caught sight of the dull green eyes and brown teeth that could make a professional dentist faint.

"Choco!!" Mona shouted towards the sludge covered Chocobo which flapped its wings in response. "Don't worry! We'll get you out of here!"

"WARK-WAARK!" Choco cried as the Great and Mighty Poo stuck the bird's feet onto a nearby wall before turning his attention back to the sweet corn which disappeared into his mouth with one final: "_NOOOOOOO_!"

The Great and Mighty Poo then cleared his throat and did a couple of musical scales before he began to sing…

(And for the sake of the rating, we shall edit out a few of the words and replace them with something the censors can handle.)

"I AM THE GREAT MIGHTY POO,  
AND I'M GOING TO THROW MY _**CRAP**_ AT YOU!  
A HUGE SUPPLY OF TISH  
COMES FROM MY CHOCOLATE STARFISH!  
HOW ABOUT SOME _**SCRAP  
**_YOU LITTLE _**RAT(s)**_"

"At least he didn't say—" Sephiroth started.

"RUN AWAY!!!" Mona, Kris, and Chaos-2 yelled simultaneously in a Monty-Python/Scooby Doo fashion before they split in different directions just as a giant ball of poo smacked into the silver-haired man.

"…_not again_…"

"Get to the context-sensitive pads! They have toilet paper on them!" Kris shouted. Chaos-2 abruptly skidded to a halt onto one and pulled up a giant roll of toiletry which he heaved above his head just as the poo-monster showed up in front of him and began holding a long note. With the throwing power like that of a football player, Chaos hurled the roll of paper into the dripping-with-decay maw. The Great and Might Poo's mouth clamped shut before he began croaking and gasping on the toiletry.

"_That is just disgusting_…" Chaos-2 grumbled as a bit of the water in his face turned a bit of a green color and the lump-of-dung reformed in the center of the room.

"DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU'LL SURVIVE IN HERE?  
YOU DON'T SEEM TO KNOW WHICH CREEK YOU'RE IN!  
SWEET CORN IS THE ONLY THING TO MAKE IT THROUGH MY REAR!  
HOW'D YOU THINK I KEEP THIS LOVELY GRIN?"

The Great and Mighty Poo then flashed one of his corn-teeth and pulled off another wad of crap.

"Have some more caviar…" He commented before hurling it at them and the crap-wad struck Sephiroth who had just got out of the first pile.

"OH COME ON!" Sephiroth yelled, though it was muffled through the poo pile.

"Ready? Aim…FIRE!" Kris yelled and a second wave of toilet paper sailed through the air, landing a hole-in-one right in Mr. Poo's mouth. "Bull's eye!"

"_Ugh, I'm getting sick…_" Chaos-2 groaned, turning green as he launched his toiletry at him.

"Hang in there Chaos! Do it for Choco!" Mona yelled as she flung her roll with sniper-like precision.

Choco cawed in joy as the rolls caused the poo-beast to gag choke and spit out a combined mess of toiletry and poo before reforming in the center of the cave once again. This time he seemed to have a bit of an angry tone in his singing voice.

"NOW I'M REALLY GETTING RATHER MAD!  
YOU'RE LIKE A NIGGLY TICKLY _**GRITTY**_ LITTLE TAG NUT!"

"Gritty?" Kris had a confused expression plastered on her face. "Oh well at least it's better than him saying:—"

"WHEN I'VE KNOCKED YOU OUT WITH ALL MY BAB,  
I'M GOING TO TAKE YOUR HEAD AND RAM IT UP MY _**BUTT!**_"

Mona dropped the roll she was carrying and stared wide-eyed at the G&MP. She pondered over the last verse before asking shakily.

"Your butt?"

"MY BUTT!"

"Your butt?!" Mona's right eyelid twitched in disgust.

"That's right, my butt!"

"EW…" The brunette shuddered from a mental image which would have made anyone in her position faint.

"MY BUTT!"

"_**EEEEEEEW**_!!!" Mona turned a deep shade of green and clamped both hands over her mouth to prevent herself from vomiting but quickly regretted it. "_**AAAAUGH**_!"

"That's just disgusting…" Chaos-2 groaned as Mona fell on the ground in a fetal position mumbling: "Germs…so many germs…make it stop…make it stop…"

"_MY BUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!_"

As The Great and Mighty Poo kept holding the long note, the mirror behind him started to crack catching Kris's attention. "The flush! If we can get him to sing again, he'll break the mirror and we can flush him!"

* * *

Elsewhere, Nack had heard the loud baritone voice and twitched when he heard the gasping and choking noises. 

"CRIMONY…!" The weasel shouted before running back in the direction he came. "The stupid blob is going to mess everything up!"

* * *

With Mona temporarily out of action, Kris and Chaos-2 found it rather difficult to keep up with the Great and Mighty Poo who had been dropping down and avoiding the toilet paper rolls like a plague would a cure. 

"Something's got to bring this thing down…" Kris growled.

"I can't take much more!" and Chaos collapsed.

"Chaos!" Mona yelled as she wearily staggered to her 'mud' coated feet.

Suddenly a giant lit up light bulb appeared over Kris's head. "Eh?" She looked up at it, then down at the context sensitive pad and smiled. "Guess you really are sensitive to context aren't you?" Kris jumped on it and was armed with a machine gun with rounds of toilet paper.

"What the?" Mona stared at the TP gun with a perplexed expression as she got steady. "I don't remember reading about that in the original game."

"This ain't the original game." Kris cocked her toilet-paper gun. "Hey, giant turd, say hello to my _lettle_ _frend_!" and started off a un-dodge-able barrage of toiletry. The Great and Mighty Poo, after springing up, abruptly got pelted in the face with a barrage of toilet paper.

"AAAUGH! HE—OOF! STOP THA—OW! YOU ANNOYING LITTLE SH—AAAUGULP!" Upon opening his giant mouth, several toilet paper rolls flew into his mouth with a surprising accuracy. Completely stunned by the rapid fire, The Great and Mighty Poo could only keep his jaw open as it was filled to the brim with toiletry much like Patrick Star getting his mouth filled to the brim with snowballs fired off by Spongebob.

* * *

Nack, after slipping and sliding through the caverns, abruptly found himself watching the GaMP getting filled up with toiletry. The weasel's jaw dropped several inches before he regained his composure and shouted: "YOU IDIOT! WHAT THE HECK are you…oh…" 

And a toilet paper roll rebounded off the side of the poo-monster and flew directly at the purple weasel. In a mock Simpson Movie scene, Nack's eyes followed the giant roll as it steadily loomed towards him.

_**S-BANG!**_

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!_" Nack yelled after he was flattened and the toilet roll continued well _rolling_ into the tunnels. The screaming weasel passed by the same sweet corn audience and disappeared out of sight just before a resounding crash was heard and a powerful tremor sent some drops of…crap…raining down over the crowd from the 'ceiling'. The sweet corn judges abruptly held up score cards that read: "_What_" "_An_" "_Idiot_" and "_I saved 15 dollars by switching to Geico_!"

* * *

"_Hmm…that weasel seemed familiar…hmm…NAH…must be the fumes giving me hallucinations…_" Mona shook the thought aside from her place in the cavern as she ducked an incoming poo wad. 

The Great and Mighty Poo coughed and choked out the toilet paper momentarily after Kris stopped her seemingly never-ending barrage. Mona and Choco cheered ecstatically from their places (although they tried to avoid the raining dung) while the poo monster spat out the toiletry and dove back into the slop lake before resurfacing in the center.

"Mona! Get ready!" Kris shouted to the brunette. Mona, although wobbly, got onto her feet and kept her eyes on the already cracked mirror as The Great and Mighty Poo slowly began to hold a note longer and louder until the cave shook. The mirror gained one final crack before shattering and revealing an old fashioned lever. "THERE!"

_FLUSH!_

Both girls stopped dead in their places while the Great and Mighty Poo found himself spinning in place. His green eyes were widened and his stubby arms attempted to grab a hold of something that would stop his second descent (since Conker quite literally _flushed_ him previously).

"OH YOU CURSED GIRLS, LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!! I'M FLUSHING! I'M FLUSHING!" He yelled as the spinning accelerated. "OH WHAT A WORLD! WHAT A WORLD! WHO THOUGHT GOOD LITTLE GIRLS LIKE YOU COULD DESTROY MY BEAUTIFUL CLOGGINESS LIKE THAT _SQUIRREL_!"

Kris continued watching the Great and Mighty Poo suffer his second flush while Mona ran towards a location where she could reach Choco and pull him off the wall.

"OH, I'M GOING!!! AAAAAHHH! _**NOOOOOoo**__oo!! Aaaah_…" He continued yelling before disappearing down the depths of a vertical tunnel. Kris paused for a moment before chuckling and turning towards the audience with a smile on her face.

"Now that's what I call a _bowel movement_…" She quoted Conker cheerfully. And, like clockwork, a resounding fart came from the bottom of the pit.

"Now that THAT's over…" Mona grumbled as she pulled Choco from the wall. Choco cawed happily and nuzzled into his poo-coated 'mother'. "Don't worry sweetie! I won't let you out of my sight like that again!"

"That and…" Chaos-2 groaned and staggered to his feet. "Who pulled the plug on the poo-thing…?"

Everyone looked towards the flush and caught sight of Sephiroth in a heroic (isn't that an oxymoron??) hunched over position with one arm holding his torso while the other held the lever down. There also was a relieved smile on his face while his eyes were closed.

"SEPHIE!!!" Kris cried happily. "YOU SAVED US!!"

"OY _**SILVER-HAIRED PANZY**_!" Mona shouted angrily and with a pulsing vein on her forehead and one clenched fist. "WHAT'S WITH THE HEROIC POSE?! _**WE**_ DID ALL THE BLOODY WORK!!!"

"Oh give it a rest!" Sephiroth retorted. "He's _**flushed**_ isn't he?!"

"Those two…are never going to get along…" Chaos-2 grumbled from his place as Mona and Sephiroth threw insults at one another and Kris somehow fangirl hugged the silver-haired bishounen.

* * *

A while after the group got out of the cave (with Mona and Sephiroth both still arguing), Nack stumbled into the main cavern looking worse for the wear. The weasel wobbled from side to side and his fedora was flattened against his violet head much like his gas mask. 

"Darn it…I was so close…" Nack groaned.

"Close…but not close enough…" A robotic voice barked.

The weasel whirled about and found his breath caught in his throat when he caught sight of "Deep Voice's" top two minions. "Y-y-you…!"

"You didn't think Master was holding the money for safekeeping, did you Weasel?" The more _human_ voice asked with a slightly humored tone mixed in.

Nack backed up shakily and wide-eyed as the two shadowed figures approached with menacing steps. "Wait…WAIT JUST A MINUTE! I won't mess up again! I'll get them next time I swear!"

The robot scowled and went face to face with the weasel so his red eyes were focused on the unnerved obsidian. "There's not going to be a next time…Nack." And Nack was punched into the pit with a loud cry following that grew softer as he descended before a loud squelching signaling his collision with the Great and Mighty Poo.

"…c'mon robo…let's get out of this crap-cave before we start to stink…" The red-head human commented before turning around and leaving the cave with the robot.

* * *

Down in the poo-pit, Nack and the Great and Mighty Poo remained in silence. The weasel held his bruised face under the mask and shot a glare at his partner-in-crime. 

"_**THIS IS **_**YOUR**_** FAULT!**_"

The Great and Mighty Poo's retort to that little accusation was in the form of a giant wad of crap.

Nack's pupils shrunk to the size of tiny dots as his ears folded back. "…not _again_—"

_**SPLAT!**_

_**To be continued…**

* * *

_

**QofSF**: (_walks up to microphone and taps it_) this thing on? I guess so… Ahem… Hiya! I'm Queen of the Sacred Flames, co-author of this fanfiction, and Imperfection07 is letting me do a commentary all by myself! Completely and totally unsupervised::_squee_!:: First off, I wanna say that we totally deserve an Oscar for this chapter considering how many synonyms for 'crap' we used. 

(_Is suddenly handed an Oscar from somebody off-screen and applauds sound off from the audience_)

**QofSF**: Oh wow! I hope Imperfection07 gets one too, I could not have done without Imperfection07 and the cast of this fic (_wipes a tear from her eyes_) I also want to thank- (_suddenly the Oscars music blares, cutting her off_) Hey! I'm supposed to get thirty seconds! Come on!

(_Suddenly a cane sticks out from off screen, hooks onto__ QofSF__, and tries to pull __her__ off the stage_)

**QofSF**: No wait! (_She grabs onto the microphone and holds on_) I want to thank my mom, the cast and crew of the fic (_the cane yanks again and QofSF holds on tight_) and all my favorite bishies and David Bowie and- (_and QofSF looses grip on the microphone and is yanked away as the Oscars music continues_) AIIEEE!

_Please Review on this Chapter!!_


	11. Bathhouse Blues

Final Fanatic  
Chapter 11: Bathhouse Blues

After the heroic battle against the Great and Mighty Poo, our heroes were once again on their long quest to find the Chaos Emeralds. Well, unfortunately they were going to have to take a slight detour…by slight…they're going to take the entire chapter…

"Guys," Mona asked; her voice sounding strained as she spotted some vegetation turning a rotten brown wherever they passed.

"_Yes_…?" Chaos-2 groaned, noticing a bunch of wildlife running from them. Some of the smaller animals seemed to be squealing: "_**RETREAT! RETREAT**_" or "_**RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY**_" with high pitched voices.

"I think we stink," The brunette grumbled as an unlucky flickie fell off its perch on a nearby tree, startling Choco and causing some loose black feathers to get stuck in the girl's hair.

"How much further until the next town," Kris groaned.

"How am I supposed to know?" Sephiroth replied, swatting away some flies that buzzed around him. At this point in time, Sephiroth had a brunette appearance.

"Nobody appeared to be asking you," Mona coughed and swatted at another fly.

"Say Chaos," Kris turned towards the blue creature that had a mixture of brown and green in its watery form. "Can't you do something…?"

"_No…unless you want a coat of slime with the…__stuff__ coating you_…" Chaos-2 hesitated at saying words relative to "poo". Kris backed away as if to understand what Chaos meant.

"Ohh…key,"

"Well, it's not like a flipping bathhouse is going to appear out of nowhere..." The brunette grimaced as a fog began to kick up until it obscured the view of the travelers. "…oh for Pete's sake, we're smelly and there's a heat-induced FOG kicking in and—_**Ow**_! Who stepped on my foot?!"

"Don't look at me!" Sephiroth snapped.

"I _can't_ see you, IDIOT!" Mona retorted.

"Look, all we have to do is keep talking and—AAH!" Kris abruptly yelped and was followed by a splash.

"What, what's wrong?!" Sephiroth's voice could be heard along with a sword unsheathing and a bit of metal slicing through water.

"_**AACK**_! _Don't unsheathe your sword here_!" Chaos yelped.

"Why the heck not?!"

"_You just slashed me in the face_!"

"Uh…woops…"

"Moron…"

"Wark-wark…"

"_**HEY**_! You're lucky I can't use my ultimate attack, or something relatively painful to you, if I can't see anything!"

"That's why…" And a raspberry followed.

"_**AAAARGH**_,"

"I just tripped and fell into some water! Nothing to worry about," Kris replied along with a sloshing sound.

"Wait-wait-wait…doesn't the water seem a bit…_**warm**_?" Mona asked after a hesitant silence.

"_Uhm…it's not supposed to be…is it?_" Chaos inquired.

"I feel a breeze…" Sephiroth said out loud as the fog cleared.

"_TMI Sephiroth_…"

The group stood in a horrible silence as their eyes enlarged to the size of saucers and Mona slapped a hand over her Chocobo's eyes.

"Oh…" Kris and Mona's jaws dropped.

"My…" Sephiroth and Chaos-2 stuttered.

* * *

"_**GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH**_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

* * *

Needless to day, chaos ensued (no pun intended).

Mona dove underwater, still clutching Choco, leaving only her head above the water "Where are my clothes?!" Mona shrieked,

"Wark wark wark!"

"Is this a sick joke?!" Sephiroth yelled, using his overly long silver hair to cover himself. He looked around wildly and yelled: "Where the heck is my sword?!"

Kris would have made a witty reply, but she had fainted after initially seeing Sephiroth and had sunk underwater.

Chaos dissolved into a puddle and merged with the water from embarrassment before realization kicked in: "_Wait…I don't wear clothes_…"

"Shh!"

Everyone blinked (Kris had resurfaced by now, only her head above water) and turned to who had shushed them. There on a rock was a SlowBro in a white uniform. The SlowBro drawled, "Please………..be ………… quiet………… the……….. other…………"

"Oh this is gonna take forever!" Sephiroth groaned.

"Oy!" yelled the Shellder on its tail. "What my associate here is trying to say is: _**Shut up!**_ The other customers are trying to enjoy the hot springs you dolts!"

"Hot springs?" Kris asked.

"Yeah, can't ya read the sign?" the Shellder said.

"_What sign?_" Chaos-2 asked and looked around, then saw the huge sign behind them "_Oh that sign…_"

They all looked at the big white sign behind them that read: _Welcome to Slowbro's Traveling Co-Ed Bathhouse and Hot Springs_

"Okay, but where did our clothes go?" Mona asked, clamping another hand over her eyes.

"They were taken to be washed." The Shellder grimaced (or as much as a Shellder can grimace anyway), "Believe me; they need industrial-strength washing. I don't even want to know what you've been rolling in."

"You really don't want to know…" Kris replied as the SlowBro attempted to speak before its _associate_ spoke over him.

"Ey! Boys! Ya do realize yer in the GIRLS side of the hot-springs, do ya?" The Shellder commented resulting in the group having comically wide eyes as the steam dissipated even further and…

Several screams and outbursts of: "_**PEEEERRRRVEEEERRRRTS**_!!" erupted from the girl's side as Sephiroth (who had somehow grabbed a towel from the Slowbro) and Chaos-2 ran through the door. Sephiroth, unluckily, slipped on a well placed brush, spun in mid air, and knocked into Chaos-2 which resulted in them crash landing in the men's side of the onsen and sending up a geyser of water. The Slowbro only padded through the door and closed it after getting hit in the face by a towel.

"Please…………enjoy…………your—"

"Fer cryin' out loud, take a freaking BATH already! You all smell like _**POO**_!" The Shellder snapped. Chaos-2 turned a deep shade of green when he heard the 'P' word being spewed.

And spew he did…

"_**BLAAAAAARRGH**_!"

"Oh great job you lummox, now we have to filter the entire bath!"

* * *

"Well…the good news is…we're going to get this muck and grime off…" Mona commented, giving herself a power-scrub to remove the crud and gunk coating her. Choco cawed in agreement, floating above the water like a duck. Kris observed the black Chocobo with an odd expression.

"Hey Mona…"

"What?"

"Isn't Choco a male?"

"Uh…" Mona looked at the Chocobo which was minding its own business, not entirely caring that other females were cleaning. "Let's just pretend he's a girl-Chocobo so the others don't punch him skyward…"

"Good point…" Kris nodded before dumping onsen water over her head. Choco only tilted its head to the side with a confused: "Wark?"

* * *

Sephiroth and Chaos-2 found themselves placed in another part of the onsen after the spewed substance was power-filtered from the bathwater. Most of the male occupants were a bit peeved that they were coated in a new layer of sludge after getting themselves clean, and they regarded the silver-haired man and the Chaos-Monster as irritations.

"_Well…at least the muck's out of my system…_" Chaos-2 commented, his watery body a crystalline blue color.

"Good for you." Sephiroth grumbled as he tried to get poo, dung, crap, sludge, and other disgusting things out of his long hair. "At least you don't have long hair that entangles _stuff_ in it!" He retorted after pulling out a Sweet Corn that shrieked in panic before being thrown out of the bath.

"_If you're having so much trouble with it, why don't you cut your hair?_" The water monster glared.

"_**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**_"

Both the characters, along with the other male occupants, went rigid when they heard loud female screams from all corners of the (obvious) globe. Chaos blinked and turned towards Sephiroth who slapped a clean hand into his half-mucked face.

"_The _hell_ was that?_"

"My fan-girls…"

"_What's wrong with getting your hair cut?!_" Chaos-2 gave him a confused expression. "_No offense but sometimes I mistake you for a_—"

"_Shut. Up_…"

* * *

Kris went dead silent and she dropped her brush into the water on the girl's side of the onsen.

"…for some odd reason…I want to punch Chaos-2."

* * *

Sephiroth, after cleaning off the muck and getting back his silvery-hair sheen, rested in a sitting-down position next to Chaos-2.

"Finally, I'm not dirty like a Chocobo." The silver-haired man commented.

"_Speaking of Chocobo…I haven't seen Choco in this side of the bath_…" Chaos-2 tapped its nose in thought resulting in Sephiroth sitting upright and twitching at the thought of a Male Chocobo in the Female side of the onsen.

"That little…" Sephiroth fumed, anime veins pulsing as he imagined Choco acting like a pimp around Mona and Kris. With that thought in mind, the silver-haired man stood up in place. "He had better not be—not be doing what I think he's doing!!"

The male occupants stared with wide-eyed and confused and startled expressions as Sephiroth stamped towards the door and grabbed the knob. The other occupants, knowing the dangers, ducked under water as the door was wrenched open.

"YOU PERVERTED LITTLE—"

"Sephiroth?!" Kris stared. Sephiroth went silent as he stared straight at the blonde, wide-eyed and a red drip coming down his nose.

"Kris?"

The other females…screamed.

"_**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK**_…!"

"_**NAKED PERVERT**_," Mona yelled; diving further under water and grabbing a bucket filled with water from the side of the bath and throwing it at Sephiroth with bone-shattering force.

"…no—"

_**BASH!

* * *

**_Outside the baths, Slowbro and Shellder listened to the audible commotion coming from inside.

"Good grief…we haven't had THIS MUCH commotion since that perverted toad-sage ninja arrived!" Shellder commented. "And we just had those knotholes in the walls plugged too! The dolt! Who would be stupid enough to walk into the opposite side of the onsen anyway?! Grr…I should have sealed that door!"

* * *

Much like what happened back at Ayame's Costume Shop, Sephiroth found objects ranging from any video game being thrown at him along with female screams. The silver haired FF7 character desperately tried to avoid the many sharp objects being thrown before another bucket decked him square in the face resulting in tripping backwards on a well placed soap bar and falling into the water. The females screamed louder and another game bishounen (who was much more chivalrous to the opposite gender) lunged for the door, slamming it shut and avoiding death-by-flying-mallet. Sephiroth floated face-down over towards Chaos-2, sporting a giant bruise on his head. The water-beast regarded his companion with apathy.

"_Who's the bigger pervert,_" He asked, "_You or the Chocobo?_"

Sephiroth chose this moment to sink underwater.

* * *

Mona helped her friend resurface (seeing Sephiroth devoid of clothing, except for a towel, and dripping wet had overloaded Kris's systems causing her to faint) by grabbing a good chunk of her blonde hair.

"OWIE," Kris shrieked. When Mona let go, Kris looks around frantically for her bishie "Where's Sephie-kins?"

Mona growled in frustration, seriously contemplating hitting Kris with a mallet and knocking her out for the remainder of the fanfic. "Who's the bigger pervert, you or the One-Winged-Pansy?"

Kris looked at Mona innocently, and then an evil thought kicked in, "I wonder who else is over there…"

At first Mona didn't fully grasp the intentions in Kris's words until the blonde started sidestepping towards the wall. "What?! Are you crazy?!" Mona practically tackled her friend before she reached the wall but only managed to grab her arm. This received some odd stares from the female occupants.

"Mona! Let go! Don't be a party-pooper!"

* * *

On the other side of the wall Chaos-2 faintly heard the word 'poop' and turned slightly green again.

And Sephiroth noticed before clamping a hand over where Chaos-2's mouth was supposed to be. "Don't you dare vomit, you idiot! They just had this water filtered!"

* * *

"Mona!" Kris struggled against Mona's steel grip. "Maybe someone else we know is over there, like a naked Shadow the Hedgehog!" Then Kris stopped and thought a moment with a devious smile. "Wait a sec, isn't Shadow _always_ naked?"

That aforementioned thought caused Mona to blush, let go of Kris and dive underwater in a feeble attempt to 'drown out' her current thoughts of the 'always naked' Ultimate Life form.

Giggling, Kris grabbed a towel from the edge of the spring and darted out of the water towards the door. She tried to open the door, but unfortunately the SlowBro had come back and locked it after the 'Naked-Pervert' escapade. Then Kris started scrambling up the wall like Reno in FFVII: AC but was stopped halfway by something tugging at the edge of her towel. "Hey, let go!"

Choco, wanting to help his 'mommy', had grabbed some of the towel in his beak to stop Kris.

"Let go—" but Kris was interrupted by a cracking noise, and it distinctively sounded like it was coming from the wall. "Uh oh…"

"Wark-wark" Choco sweat dropped, for he too heard the sound.

Kris leaped off the wall, the cracking heard again, "Whatever happens, I didn't do it!" and she leaps back into the water along with Choco. The wall continued rumbling for a few moments, unnerving the occupants (except for Mona since she was still under water) before silencing.

Kris spoke up, "Well that was c—"

_Rumble…_

Everyone held back their starting-to-release breaths as the wall rumbled before halting again.

"…well that was—"

_RUMBLE…_

"………that was—"

_**RUMBLE…!**_

"Never mind…!"

* * *

Sephiroth and the other males relaxed after the wall stopped rattling and resumed cleaning themselves off. The silver haired bishounen, after getting the remnants of crud out of his hair, relaxed in the bath water. He put two hands behind his head and smiled contently.

"Ah…"

Chaos-2 sank so only his head was above water. "_I should have made this place my habitat YEARS ago…_"

"That and…aside from being thwacked over the head by that brown-haired twit," Sephiroth grumbled slightly from the pain in his nose, "nothing could possibly go wrong…"

"Oh, I thought I recognized you!"

Sephiroth's eyes widened and he looked around, surprised to find that the male's side of the bath was almost empty, bar himself and Chaos-2. The silver-haired man's mako eyes turned slightly to his left and he caught sight of the last person he wanted to see in a bath-house: Ayame Sohma.

"Oh _**crap!**_" He yelped, out of realizing the other silver-haired man was almost six inches from him. Chaos-2 turned a slight green color and tried to hold back his fluids while Sephiroth shot to the other side of the bath.

"_Please…don't say that word again_…" Chaos-2 shuddered.

"Well Sephiroth, I had no idea that you came to this bathhouse…" Ayame smiled almost seductively. Sephiroth blanched and stared wide-eyed at the Fruits Basket character as though he was Aerith coming back from the grave and demanding his soul.

"S-stay away!" The silver haired man panicked, wishing he had his sword in order to protect himself.

* * *

On the other side of the wall, Kris had suddenly noticed the entire bathhouse was empty, save for them. She reached for Mona and pulled the brunette from the water by the hair. The brunette didn't particularly care about the pain in her scalp since her fan-girl mind was still trying to recover from the mental image Kris imprinted and was twitching.

"Kris…"

"What…?"

"Don't put the words 'Naked' and 'Shadow' in the same sentence or subject, got it?"

"I got you…" Kris rolled her eyes, noting that it was the best way to blackmail the brunette in the near future. Both girls and the Chocobo looked up abruptly when a loud yell sounded off from the opposite side of the wall. "Do you hear screaming…?"

"Uh…huh…" Mona nodded shakily. Choco only shrugged it off and began to float along the bath. Both girls followed the bird with their eyes as it floated closer and closer to the wall…

"CHOCO!!!" Both girls yelled and jumped at the Chocobo which lightly tapped against the wall which began shaking. Their combined splashes caused enough force for the wall to tip over.

"Ohh…sugar honey ice tea…" Kris and Mona watched as the wall fell over like a giant domino and landed with a loud slap on the water, giving them full view of Chaos-2, Sephiroth, and Ayame.

Mona screamed and threw another bucket.

Choco squawked.

Kris fainted after seeing Sephiroth and Ayame.

Sephiroth gawked at the sight of both girls and got hit in the face by a bucket.

Ayame giggled from the whole situation.

Chaos-2 only kept his eyes closed and tried not to vomit as he ignored the whole insanity going on.

* * *

"Oh great…" Shellder groaned as it heard the commotion. "I knew we should have fixed that wall!"

"That………and………" Slowbro began speaking.

"I know! I know! I should have put a restraining order on that she-male!"

* * *

After the second encounter with Ayame Sohma took place, Slowbro returned to repair the wall with a construction crane and restored the wall and reinforced it with concrete this time.

"This is SO going on their bill!" Shellder growled.

Sephiroth was relieved that Ayame was a good distance away now, on they other side of the men's-side of the spring. Although even at this distance Ayame found some ways of being annoying, such waving to him and winking. Ayame even dared blowing a kiss at him, which angered Sephiroth so much that he actually picked up and threw Chaos-2 at him.

"Ouchie…" Ayame whimpered, all swirly-eyed.

"_What'd you throw me for?!_" Chaos-2 asked when he returned to Sephiroth's side.

"You were in reaching distance." Sephiroth replied.

On the girls' side of the onsen, the girls were trying to rest.

"I thought hot springs were supposed to be relaxing." Mona moaned. "This is almost as stressful as our adventure."

"You think this is stressful? Try fighting a Dual Horn with only a Cerberus handgun and Vincent Valentine on level 1." Kris mumbled.

"What?"

"Never mind…"

Unknown to the girls, on the far end of the onsen, obscured by the fog, a dark figure stood, watching them. Next to the dark figure was a waist-high glass tank. In the glass tank was a Shadow Sharpedo, its eyes were red and it was eager to bite something.

The dark figure opened the lid of the tank and the Sharpedo leaped out of the tank and into the onsen water. The dark figure grinned and decided to watch. "This is going to be fun."

Mona blinked, she could have sworn she saw a splash in the far off fog and sensed a foreboding doom.

"I sense a foreboding doom." Mona said.

"Yeah well I sense nap-time." Kris yawned. Choco was swimming by when Kris grabbed him and dragged him over to her. "Stay." She told the Chocobo and rested the back of her head on his feather back and was instantly asleep, a large sleep-bubble forming on her nose. Choco looked at her, shrugged, and put his head under his wing.

Mona on the other hand continued to stare at the spot where she had initially seen the splash. Behind her however, a shark fin rose up out of the water and somewhere a reader of this fic is humming the Jaws theme.

_Dahh dump… Dahh dump… Dahh dump… Dahh dump—_

"Will you stop that?!" Mona yelled, breaking the 4th wall.

_Sorry…_

The brunette resumed huddling in place before turning around and spotting the shark fin protruding above the water. Mona vaguely heard the Jaws theme playing in her head again as she—

_Dahh dump… Dahh dump..._

"_Knock it off!_"

_Fine…fine…killjoy…_

—she watched it come close to them.

An average person would have decided to remain still out of knowing that any shark is attracted to vibrations in water.

Timid people or those afraid of sharks would jump out of the water, screaming and running/swimming away, attracting the shark and getting close to getting eaten.

In Mona's case…she grabbed a bucket…

The Sharpedo sprang out of the water, jaws open and fangs ready to rend the humans and Chocobo apart. The brunette swung out, catching the shark off guard and sending it flying into the wall. The shadow Pokemon then experienced a pinball effect, bouncing off the cement wall, the side of the onsen, the bottom of the pool, and eventually knocked into Kris. The blonde pitched forwards, startling Chocobo into flying into Mona and throwing the shark at the dark figure…

* * *

"_**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGH!!**_"

Sephiroth and Chaos-2 shot into sitting up positions, wide-eyed.

"_What was that_…?"

"Hmm…" Ayame hummed before coming to an incredibly accurate explanation. "It sounds as though a Shadow Sharpedo is biting down on someone's head and giving them a painful headache…"

The silver-haired man and the water creature stared at Ayame with bewildered expressions before getting to their feet (Sephiroth with a towel), and somehow climbing atop the concrete wall. Once they got a clear view of the opposite side, both the ex-villains (well, Chaos-2 was just misunderstood due to a bunch of tribal echidnas rubbing him the wrong way a few thousand years ago) froze at the sight of a tall man running around in front of Mona and Kris with a Shadow Sharpedo biting down on his head.

"_What…the…hell_?" Chaos-2's left eye twitched.

Ayame began giggling. "Tee-hee, such a nice—"

"_SHUT UP_!" Sephiroth shouted _down_ at the other silver-haired man, almost flushed a red color. He reached for his sword and his hand froze over the spot where it used to be. "Oh right…that Slowbro has it…" Sephiroth fumed before looking at his hand and smirking slightly.

"Well, luckily for me I still have enough MP for this…

"_MP for wha—_" Chaos-2 halted in mid-sentence and his eyes widened in horror at the deadly energy growing in the silver-haired man's palm. "_Sephiroth…wait…don't—_"

Too late…Sephiroth promptly jumped into the other onsen (much to the chagrin of the occupants) and forced his palm forwards at the Sharpedo-head-person.

"_**DESCEND HEARTLESS ANGEL!**_"

Mona, having long since run out of the onsen with Kris and Choco, barely finished her expletive consisting of: "Oh fu—"

_**KROOOOOOM!!!**_

An Olympic-sized swimming pool amount of water jettisoned skywards, throwing the hired assassin, the Shadow Sharpedo, and debris (which was a large portion of the onsen, including the wall) a far distance and over the horizon. The water splattered back down atop the onsen, further covering Sephiroth with water like it came from a rainstorm.

The silver-haired bishounen stood upright and shook his long hair out of his face while keeping the towel straightened. "Well, at least that's over before it started—"

"_SEEEEPHIIIIIRROOOOOTTTHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_"

_**BONK!**_

Sephiroth promptly clutched at his forehead after another bucket nailed him and caught sight of Mona fully clothed in the Ash-Ketchum outfit, Choco was hiding behind his imprinted mother's legs, and Kris was dressed in her recently obtained sifuku (the other clothes were still being cleaned). The mako eyes flared at the brunette before she gave him an abrupt motion to look at the wall. As Kris tried not to pass out from seeing a half-naked Sephiroth, the fog dissipated and Sephiroth got a clear image of the damage.

The wall was completely torn apart in the middle leaving a gigantic hole (Chaos-2 had made a quick escape to a far corner), the surrounding walls looked like a nuclear bomb hit them, and the water was filled with debris (and Ayame Sohma was floating face up on the water with anime swirls over his eyes). Sephiroth stood in the middle of the rubble and had a cross between a "holy-crap" and "oops" expression plastered on his face.

"Do you have…any idea…how much…Gil…this is going to cost us?" Mona seethed with her fist clenched and a bright red vein mark visible from Sephiroth's position.

Sephiroth was unable to comment as the travelers caught sight of the Slowbro and the completely irritated Shellder still clamped onto its tail. The water/psychic type walked up to Mona and handed her the bill.

"Here's…the…bill…ma'am…" Slowbro drawled before turning around slowly and walking towards the exit as Mona unfolded the paper and gawked upon seeing the total.

"_**HOW MUCH?!?!**_"

"Well, thank your silver-haired pal over there for destroying the hot springs…" Shellder replied as Slowbro was halfway out the door…which was all that was left of the onsen. "And it took almost 3 gallons of detergent to clean your outfits. So don't say we aren't responsible! And if you don't have that much money, I suggest you try mugging a few NPCs and leave us with an IOU. Later Feraligatr…!"

And the door slammed shut…and fell backwards onto the wet soil, giving the travelers a clear view of Slowbro plodding slowly away from the hot springs and into the mist. Kris glanced at Mona with a wince and asked: "how much is it?"

Mona, twitching with silent fury, handed the paper to Kris and stooped down to pick up the bucket which floated back towards her side of the hot-spring. Choco backed up towards Kris and dove behind her legs with full understanding that his mother was going to be inconsolable at this point in time. Kris almost gawked at the price.

"_**ONE MILLION GIL?!!!**_"

"Sadly…that's for the wall…the onsen water…the entire building…our clothes…the amount of sludge washed off…" Mona replied with an aggravated tone of voice as she mentally calculated the amount of money they were going to owe. "…deducting how much GIL we have right now…which means we owe almost 798,300 Gil…which would take us several _**weeks**_ to collect if we go through a whole bunch of random battles or enter in another tournament…"

"So…that means we're flat-broke…" Kris finished the brunette's sentence.

"Yep…" The brunette twitched as Sephiroth had already begun to sneak away.

Mona then startled everyone by yelling a battle cry and leaping at the escaping Sephiroth. Everyone watched with wide eyes as the brunette perched herself on Sephiroth's back and starting bashing him on the head with the bucket, while Sephiroth was running around waving his arms wildly trying to throw the crazed girl off him.

"OW-OW-OW-_**OW**_!" Sephiroth cried. "Make her stop!"

"Uh, Mona?" Kris said gently. "I don't think bashing Sephie is going to help the situation."

"Maybe if he runs out of HP we can pay off the bill!" Mona replied, foaming a little at the mouth, still beating Sephiroth on the head with the bucket. "He's gotta be worth something!"

"Uh, no, he's an ending boss." said Kris, "You win the game if you beat him in FFVII, so you don't get any money per se…"

Mona's eye twitched angrily at this revelation and gave Sephiroth one last BONK on the head before leaping off of him and marching back to her friends.

"_Feeling better?_" Chaos- 2 asked, hoping she wouldn't take her anger out on them next.

"Actually, yes," Mona then threw the bucket over her shoulder and it landed right on Sephiroth's head and he fell over into the water, floating with swirly eyes and a great many painful bruises on his head. "Well, let's get started…"

* * *

Over the next few hours our heroes tried numerous money making schemes, including a lemonade stand (Kris: "Lemonade, get your lemonade here, only 798,300 Gil a glass!"), random battles (Mona: "Only 20 Gil?! I battled a Raichu and only get 20 gil?!"), and betting in the Chocobo races ("Go go go go!" Sephiroth yells at the Chocobos that run past him on the track, but the Chocobo he betted on falls behind, "No, no-no-no-_**NO**_!")

Much later…

"So how much do we have?" Mona, who was beat after 8 hours of battling random trainers and monsters, asked.

After calculating their pooled earnings, Sephiroth said, "We made about 1000 Gil," Sephiroth prepared himself for death-by-bucket but thankfully none came.

"There's got to be a faster way…" Mona moaned; Choco tried to comfort her.

"Wookie woo…"

Then Kris had an idea.

"I have an idea!" Kris sprung up. "Duh, I should have thought of it hours ago." She grabbed Sephiroth's arm and dragged him away, "Be right back."

Later, a few miles outside the onsen Kris and Sephiroth were standing on a barren wasteland-like area. "What are we doing here again?" Sephiroth asked Kris.

"Shh, wait for it…" Kris said as she scanned the landscape, waiting for a certain creature to pop out… at least, hoping it would.

Then their patience was rewarded when a tiny cactus creature jumped out of a bush and skittered about. It resembled a little Togemon except without boxing gloves. It was a Cacturn from FFVII.

"There it is!" Kris yelled and snatched Sephiroth's sword and chased after the Cacturn. Sephiroth didn't even bother to protest Kris taking his sword as he watched her running around chasing a little cactus, he didn't want to risk anymore female-bashing. After ducking and diving and being hit with a barrage of needles ("OWIE!") Kris finally managed to bonk the Cacturn on the head with the blunt side of the sword, knocking it out cold. After hitting it several more times and its HP hit 0 and it faded out of existence, leaving behind 1,000,000 Gil.

"Whoo-hoo! Ow…" Kris cheered painfully.

After plucking all the needles out of Kris, she and Sephiroth went back with their winnings and gave what was needed to the Slowbro, "Here you go!" Mona cheerfully dumped the sack of money into the stubby arms of the Slowbro, who collapsed under its weight.

"Thank……..you……." The Slowbro's voice was muffled under the money sack.

"And don't come back!" Shellder growled from under the Slowbro.

* * *

"_Phew, I'm glad that's over_," Chaos-2 said as they walked out of the onsen, which disappeared into mist.

"Yeah, we relaxed at a hot spring and we made a profit." Kris grinned.

"Barely, on both accounts," Mona said as she walked beside Choco. Choco chirped as he walked beside his 'mommy' but he stopped when he heard noises in the bushes. Choco stopped and cocked his head to the side, looking at the bushes with curiosity. He may have been young, but even a baby Chocobo knew bushes don't laugh. He would have investigated further, but Sephiroth nearly tripped over him.

"Ah!" Sephiroth stumbled, but caught himself. "Stupid bird." He mumbled, but the comment earned him a bucket in the face, "OW! Where did that one come from?!"

Mona smiled and lifted another bucket that had the logo for _Slowbro's Traveling Co-Ed Bathhouse and Hot Springs._

"Souvenir," Mona then turned her attention to Choco, "Come on Choco." Choco then left the bush and trotted up to his 'mommy'.

In the said bush, the harsh giggles came again. A pair of goblin heads popped out of the bush and watched our heroes walking down the road. This very same image was also being viewed by someone else…

* * *

Not too far away, sitting on his throne, a certain king was watching our heroes as they drew closer to his kingdom as it was reflected to him in a crystal ball in his hand.

"Well, well, well, look who's coming to dinner." In the other hand he held a sparkling jewel, a Chaos Emerald. "Is this what you are looking for?" he asked the images mockingly as he spun the Chaos Emerald in his hand, he then threw his head back and laughed. When he realized he was the only one laughing he stopped and looked around his court, where more goblins sat and stared stupidly at him.

"Well? Laugh!" He ordered, and they immediately obeyed, mimicking his laugh. The king sighed and continued to gaze into the crystal ball at our heroes in one hand while twirling the Chaos Emerald in the other.

_**To be continued…

* * *

**__**November 2, 2007  
**__**Authoress Commentary**_:

Imperfection07: Another chapter complete! I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as Queen of the Sacred Flames and I have enjoyed writing it! ♥ Cookies to anyone who can guess who "The King" is!

**Please Review on this Chapter**!


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